IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people believe that technology has brought us togethere

#people #technology #togethere
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With technological development, many
people
Use synonyms
 have started to discuss whether technology brought
people
Use synonyms
 together or not.
Although
Linking Words
, technology brings
people
Use synonyms
 together because
Tech
Use synonyms
 helps to communicate with many
people
Use synonyms
 from different countries. I believe that
Tech
Use synonyms
 drives
people
Use synonyms
 apart because
Tech
Use synonyms
 pulls
people
Use synonyms
 into isolation without their now.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
Tech
Use synonyms
 leads us together because communication starts to be easy, and fast,
In addition
Linking Words
, we can communicate with any person around the world
such
Linking Words
 as phones and social media.
Additionally
Linking Words
, we can communicate with
people
Use synonyms
 face-to-face through applications at any time,
for example
Linking Words
, duo, Snapchat, and many other apps.
Conversely
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
Tech
Use synonyms
 leads us apart because
Tech
Use synonyms
 makes a person isolated which makes him not need anyone
for example
Linking Words
, many parents complain that their children are isolated and do not want to go out duo of video games and all
this
Linking Words
 technology.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 started to have a lack of communication
although
Linking Words
 there are many ways to communicate via social media because
Submitted by reemaljuaidi8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the essay has a clear and comprehensive introduction and conclusion to provide a well-rounded argument.
logical structure
Work on creating smooth transitions between paragraphs to improve the logical flow of the essay.
relevant specific examples
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompts by exploring both sides of the argument.
supported main points
The main points are supported with reasonable explanations, helping to present a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: