Some believe that all individuals who break the law should be placed in prison as a form punishment. However, other hold the view that there are more effective alternatives to deal with lawbreakers.

#believe #individuals #law #prison #form #punishment #alternatives #lawbreakers

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In today’s globalised world, there is a debate about the all committing crime

people

Use synonyms

should serve a prison sentence,

while

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

claim that less harsh criminals have to be involved in other alternative activities. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explore both sides and try to draw some conclusions. On the one hand, imprisonment is an effective

punishment

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for those who carry out severe injuries

such

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as murder, terrorism, assault, drugs etc. All these mentioned

crimes

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have a destructive effect on nations.

That is

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why, the perpetrators of these

crimes

Use synonyms

have to deprive for two reasons.

Firstly

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, it will be a lesson for others to deter from breaking the law.

Secondly

Linking Words

, strong

punishment

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will secure nations from harsh re-offending

crimes

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For instance

Linking Words

people

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who consume drugs might

crimes

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of passion, especially murder, caused by sexual jealousy. Those who taste one-time drugs

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will find it difficult to refuse consumption and maybe they will attract others too.

On the other hand

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, some

people

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advocate that there exists alternative

punishment

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which will be suitable for the community to involve lawbreakers.

For example

Linking Words

, community service, penalties, probations and others. Involving individuals who break the law in community service will cause positive actions for the public. They consider that co-existence is one of the effective civilization solutions in the world.

In addition

Linking Words

, depriving all criminals is ineffective, because it requires a lot of money and space to service these prisoners.

To sum up

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, we cannot deny the fact that all two arguments have their own positive and negative sides, but what type of

punishment

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will be used depends on the severity of the crime.

Submitted by shani.menglieva.94 on Mon Jun 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay covers both sides of the argument well, but there is room for improvement in organizing your ideas more clearly. Consider structuring each paragraph to focus on one main point and use linking words more effectively to create a smooth flow of ideas.

task achievement

Ensure that your examples are specific and directly support the points you are making. At times, the examples provided are somewhat general and could be more detailed to illustrate your arguments better.

task achievement

You have provided a balanced view of both perspectives, showing a clear understanding of the topic. This adds strength to your task achievement.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and summarize the main points effectively, contributing to a cohesive essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Some believe that all individuals who break the law should be placed in prison as a form punishment. However, other hold the view that there are more effective alternatives to deal with lawbreakers.

Your opinion

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in a group while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People today are increasingly use credit card to make monthly purchases. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. Give your opinion.

air transport is increasingly used to export fruit and vegetables to countries where they can not be grown or out season. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this.