Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?

Nowadays not only the adults suffer from obesity and being overweight but
also
, we witness the prevalence of
this
issue among young children. There are many reasons that lead to
this
issue and fortunately, there will be various viable solutions to alleviate the potential danger which it may follow.
Initially
, the changing lifestyles
due to
the widespread use of the Internet and
also
the increasing number of private cars should be taken into consideration. Today we can not imagine any daily duties which cannot be operated through the Internet. From shopping for various day-to-day products to different online services
such
as gardening, cleaning, car-washing and so on. The community become lazier and less physically active than before as they prefer to benefit from modern ways of doing daily chores rather than doing them by themselves.
On the other hand
, the upward growth of fast-food consumption which is easily accessible via online food shopping platforms and has become more viral thanks to their eye-catching advertisements is a decisive factor in
this
regard.
Finally
, the comfort of driving and sitting in private cars
instead
of using public transportation or walking to commute throughout the cities can lead to more fat people who extensively suffer from lack of physical activity apart from weak nutrition
that is
caused by fast food. Fortunately, there are many viable solutions which can be implemented to decrease the negative effects of
this
trend.
First,
the governments should impose a heft taxes on the fast-food producers
as well as
enforce necessary laws in order to raise public awareness about the adverse consequences of extreme consumption of fast foods .
Moreover
, parents should teach their children the importance of having a healthy diet and daily exercise and encourage them to obey these kinds of habits on a regular basis.
Finally
, all parts of society should try to walk or use bicycles in order to reach their routine destinations and make efforts to convert
this
healthy means of transport to become more and more viral for all of the people. In conclusion, since there is a wide range of people of different ages who are affected by modern lifestyles on the negative side of being obese, it is necessary to address
this
problem seriously and implement feasible approaches in order to have healthier generations in future.
Submitted by maede.shabani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
While your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, consider adding more specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, mentioning particular statistics or case studies related to childhood obesity and its causes and effects could enhance the strength of your arguments.
logical structure
Your essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs; however, try to ensure that each paragraph has a single clear topic sentence that precisely indicates its main idea. This will improve coherence and cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
In your introduction, clearly state the main causes and solutions you will discuss in the essay. This will help provide a better roadmap for your reader.
complete response
Your essay effectively covers the task response by discussing the causes and solutions of childhood obesity comprehensively.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which appropriately frame your discussion. This provides a solid structure to your essay.
supported main points
The main points you discussed (lifestyle changes, fast-food consumption, and sedentary behavior) are well-supported with explanations and logical connections.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Prevalent
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Comfort eating
  • Screen time
  • Physical education
  • Nutritional education
  • Economic disparities
  • Food deserts
  • Subsidize
  • Advertising
  • Weight management
  • Junk food
  • Healthy food options
  • Physical activity
  • Body image
  • Counseling
  • Consumer education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: