The only way to improve the safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In contemporary society, people are inclined to be more interested in ensuring
safety
when participating in Use synonyms
traffic
. And some believe that giving stricter Use synonyms
punishment
is the only way to improve Use synonyms
safety
on our roads. I partly agree with Use synonyms
this
opinion.
On the one hand, giving stricter Linking Words
punishment
for driving offences can help drivers grasp Use synonyms
traffic
laws, which leads to Use synonyms
traffic
accident reduction Use synonyms
as well as
increasing Linking Words
safety
for road users. The goal is to ensure that Use synonyms
law
violators can understand the serious consequences that they cause and warn them to avoid wrongdoing. To illustrate Use synonyms
this
, let's consider the example of Linking Words
traffic
Use synonyms
law
in Vietnam, a motorist without wearing a helmet during his riding can be fined between $20 to $40, and Use synonyms
thus
he will never break the rule again. In other countries, the Linking Words
traffic
Use synonyms
law
stipulates that if a driver breaks the rule, their driver's license will be confiscated and have to pay a large fine. These can cause road users will be in fear of facing Use synonyms
further
Linking Words
punishment
and avoid violent Use synonyms
law
.
From my perspective, I firmly believe that giving stricter Use synonyms
punishment
is not the only way to ensure the Use synonyms
safety
of participants in Use synonyms
traffic
. Use synonyms
Besides
Linking Words
this
method, the authority should raise awareness about Linking Words
traffic
for citizens through social media, it can provide some essential knowledge about the Use synonyms
law
Use synonyms
as well as
help them grasp serious consequences when they break the Linking Words
law
. Use synonyms
In addition
, police officers need to encourage people to use public transport Linking Words
instead
of private vehicles to avoid Linking Words
traffic
jams. Use synonyms
Moreover
, the government can add more skills tests to the driver's license exam.
Linking Words
To sum up
, I believe that the way to improve Linking Words
safety
on our roads is a combination of the measures mentioned above.Use synonyms
Submitted by huyentrang712 on
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task achievement
To improve your essay, make sure your arguments are fully developed. While the essay presents valid points, expanding on each idea with more examples or evidence would strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
Work on making your transitions between paragraphs smoother. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next to improve the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Review grammar and sentence structure for clarity. While your essay is generally understandable, there are small errors that can be corrected to improve readability.
task achievement
You could benefit from better balancing your points. The essay leans slightly more towards discussing punishments; including more content about other measures could provide a more balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the argument effectively.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples, such as the fine for not wearing a helmet in Vietnam, help to illustrate your points well.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, demonstrating a well-rounded perspective.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example