The only way to improve the safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#safety #roads #punishments #offenses

In contemporary society, people are inclined to be more interested in ensuring

safety

when participating in

traffic

. And some believe that giving stricter

punishment

is the only way to improve

safety

on our roads. I partly agree with

this

opinion. On the one hand, giving stricter

punishment

for driving offences can help drivers grasp

traffic

laws, which leads to

traffic

accident reduction

as well as

increasing

safety

for road users. The goal is to ensure that

law

violators can understand the serious consequences that they cause and warn them to avoid wrongdoing. To illustrate

this

, let's consider the example of

traffic

law

in Vietnam, a motorist without wearing a helmet during his riding can be fined between $20 to $40, and

thus

he will never break the rule again. In other countries, the

traffic

law

stipulates that if a driver breaks the rule, their driver's license will be confiscated and have to pay a large fine. These can cause road users will be in fear of facing

further

punishment

and avoid violent

law

. From my perspective, I firmly believe that giving stricter

punishment

is not the only way to ensure the

safety

of participants in

traffic

Besides

this

method, the authority should raise awareness about

traffic

for citizens through social media, it can provide some essential knowledge about the

law

as well as

help them grasp serious consequences when they break the

law

In addition

, police officers need to encourage people to use public transport

instead

of private vehicles to avoid

traffic

jams.

Moreover

, the government can add more skills tests to the driver's license exam.

To sum up

, I believe that the way to improve

safety

on our roads is a combination of the measures mentioned above.

Submitted by huyentrang712 on Tue Jun 18 2024

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task achievement

To improve your essay, make sure your arguments are fully developed. While the essay presents valid points, expanding on each idea with more examples or evidence would strengthen your position.

coherence cohesion

Work on making your transitions between paragraphs smoother. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next to improve the coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Review grammar and sentence structure for clarity. While your essay is generally understandable, there are small errors that can be corrected to improve readability.

task achievement

You could benefit from better balancing your points. The essay leans slightly more towards discussing punishments; including more content about other measures could provide a more balanced view.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the argument effectively.

task achievement

Relevant and specific examples, such as the fine for not wearing a helmet in Vietnam, help to illustrate your points well.

task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the argument, demonstrating a well-rounded perspective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The only way to improve the safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to your manager because you want to spend six months at the head office of your company in another country. in the letter explain why you want to do this say hor your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it

Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future lives. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the government should shoulder the responsibility of providing economic support for the arts.On the contrary, opponents suggest that healthcare and education should be given priority instead.There seem to be valid reasons on both sides of the argument.

The environment is changing rapidly because humans are destroying nature to meet their needs. Discuss this cause of environmental change and suggest some solutions for this problem