The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve the crime. Do you agree or disagree?
In the modern day, advancements in technological
devices
play a vital part in the human world. It is not only helping individuals but also
society and government authorities by providing supervision. The number of crime-makers is lower compared to the past, as advanced technology is believed to be the prevention and solution to this
. This
essay will present my agreement with the abovementioned opinion.
Firstly
, various police departments in multiple countries use social media to communicate with their citizens on a daily basis. To be specific, in the state of NSW of Australia, whenever they are targetting a criminal/lawbreaker on the run, the police will send out text messages and images of the person directly to locals so these citizens can be the eyes and ears of the authorities. Furthermore
, this
way could prevent locals from approaching the dangerous person. This
is credit to the help of smart devices
and applications, that make communication go swiftly and smoothly. These measures also
create a network and act as a deterrent for criminals, hence
decrease
the figure of crime eventually.
Wrong verb form
decreasing
Secondly
, a huge number of crime cases have been solved by cameras installed on the street, at a convenience store or someone’s house. Without the advanced technology, these devices
would never have existed. Whether it is a robbery or an assault, cameras could capture the footage, that will later come in handy for detectives or policemen. With further
advanced development, like those in China, bad individuals can be spotted by high-resolution CCTVs, which can scan their faces through facemasks. These Biometric mechanisms are being applied massively in all first-world nations, and they create security in social settings and reduce the percentage of lawbreakers at the same time.
In conclusion, developed information systems and devices
have an essential role in creating a safe environment for humans. It will help authorities with precautions and resolutions, by correctly utilising these innovations, in terms of controlling the crime rate.Submitted by midden-02.tore on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to enhance readability. For instance, connecting the first and second main points more fluidly can improve coherence.
task achievement
Consider adding a counterargument to acknowledge opposing viewpoints, which can strengthen your essay by showcasing a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the main points.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are provided to support the main arguments, such as the use of social media by police and the role of CCTV in solving crimes.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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