Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Despite the evolution of technologies and engineering, big number of employees spend a lot of time on their jobs sacrificing their free time.
This
essay is trying to answer why
such
cases are more negative than positive. Speaking about advantages that workers can get from
over timing
Correct your spelling
overtiming
, one of the most obvious is to make an impression on the managers which can help you to promote your career.
However
this
statement can be varied depending on each individual person, still, it remains one of the ways to show your loyalty and engagement. Another benefit could be worker's personal fulfillment.
For instance
, there are a lot of software developers who can stay after working hours passionate about the task they have been working on.
As a result
of
this
task's completion, programmers gain not only satisfaction but
also
their colleagues's acknowledgement.
However
, overworking might result in very unpleasant conditions in almost every aspect of life. Starting with a career, acting in
such
a manner can help at a short distance but since it drains a lot of energy it might cause depression, procrastination and burnout in the long term.
Additionally
, being so tired and exhausted after work plays a significantly negative role in personal life. Depleted people could prefer to spend time without anyone or even try to relax by drinking alcohol, which apparently doesn't properly affect relationships inside the family or between friends. Closing the loop, unmotivated staff could have problems in their careers because of lower performance. In conclusion, keeping a work-life balance looks more optimal solution for health, social relationships and career in a long-term perspective, because
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
show examples
can lead to plenty numbers of issues in different areas.
However
, in a short period, it could help to accomplish your goals and gain promotion if possible.
Submitted by batashevge on

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Coherence and Cohesion
While the essay provides a good structure with an introduction and conclusion, the ideas in the body paragraphs could be more strongly interconnected for higher cohesion. Consider using linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
For a higher score in task response, you could use more specific examples or data to support your points, making your arguments more relatable and convincing.
Task Achievement
Clarifying some of the ideas might help. For instance, when discussing why overworking may help in a short period but causes issues long term, providing more detailed examples or a clearer explanation can increase comprehension.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the arguments discussed in the body.
Task Achievement
You have addressed both advantages and disadvantages, which displays an understanding of the prompt and a balanced view.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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