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Writing Samples /
Band 1

Eating sugar is bad for health.Do you agree or disagree?

#sugar #health
Eating so much
sugar
 has a negative effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 health. Some people
regard
Verb problem
think
show examples
 people must measure
worth
Add an article
the worth
show examples
 of
sugar
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they are eating. They must restrict
sugar
 for themselves. It should be noted that during making some products
are used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 so much
sugar
 and
anybody
Correct your spelling
nobody
show examples
 don't
know
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
show examples
 it. So government must put special limits that using
sugar
 for making products. And all of the companies must know about these limits and follow them.
Moreover
, we must decrease advertisements about sugary meals. Because lots of children are addicted to advertisements
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they ask parents to buy
this
 product.
As a result
, because of eating so much
sugar
 changes
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their health
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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introduction conclusion present
Make sure to include a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay to improve overall structure.
supported main points
Expand on your main points with detailed explanations and examples to make your arguments more persuasive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary usage to ensure your sentences are clear and comprehensible.
complete response
You have addressed the question by discussing the negative effects of sugar and suggesting solutions.
relevant specific examples
The essay contains relevant points about government regulations, company responsibilities, and the impact of advertisements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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