Some people say that governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
day and age, it is widely believed that the government should concentrate on diminishing environmental pollution and addressing housing
issues
against illness and disease.
While
I agree with
this
point of view, I think safe and nutritious food sources are a problem that authorities need to focus on. On the one hand, environmental deterioration and housing problems are some of the reasons that lead to a variety of
health
affair
Fix the agreement mistake
affairs
show examples
.
Firstly
, living in an environment contaminated by air contamination can have detrimental effects on respiratory
health
. In big cities
such
as Ho Chi Minh City and Hanoi, there is a large amount of emissions from factories, vehicles and dust from construction, which increases the levels of air pollution and the number of citizens suffering from respiratory matters.
Besides
, living near the water sources polluted is
also
at risk for numerous
health
problems.
Secondly
, housing
issues
,
such
as many generations living in cramped houses, and substandard living conditions create an environment for the spread of illness.
On the other hand
, what the community consumes on a daily basis
also
has dramatic effects on well-being. Eating unhealthy and unsafe foods can lead to dangerous infections
such
as liver failure, and kidney failure and weaken the immune system. Many families have the habit of not eating breakfast or eating junk food for breakfast, which leads to stomach problems, increasing their risk of developing cancer.
Therefore
, Food safety management needs to be strengthened by the government and educating the public about the dangers of poor dietary habits. In conclusion,
while
I acknowledge that environmental concerns and housing
issues
have a direct impact on
health
issues
, I believe that addressing poor dietary habits and unhealthy lifestyles should be part of the government's proposal to society.
Submitted by lyhuongclc on

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task achievement
Your essay thoroughly addresses the given task and provides a balanced view on the topic. However, it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to outline the scope of your argument explicitly.
coherence cohesion
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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and your conclusion neatly wraps up the essay by summarizing your key points.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples, such as referencing specific cities, add depth and support to your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • respiratory diseases
  • heart conditions
  • incidence
  • affordable housing
  • stress
  • infectious diseases
  • preventative measures
  • cost-effective
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • comprehensive approach
  • global warming
  • climate change
  • exacerbated
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