Some people think that governments should spend money for faster public transportation, others think that there are other important priorities (e.g. cost, environment). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The half of population
state
Correct subject-verb agreement
states
show examples
that
governments
should fund more for better public
transportation
.
On the contrary
, others argue that public
transportation
is trivial, so it would
better
Add a missing verb
be better
show examples
for
governments
to spend on other issues. Personally, I agree with the first statement, because
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
giving public
transportation
better funding,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would
also
tackle many problems in the cities or countries. First of all, the most obvious benefit of public
transportation
is eco-friendly. As we all know, by using public
transportation
, cities or countries could reduce their carbon footprint caused by private vehicles. Studies found that the country
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good public
transportation
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
more likely
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better air quality than
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
that
relies
Correct subject-verb agreement
rely
show examples
on private vehicles.
Furthermore
,
this
eco-friendly aspect
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
beneficial for
people
's
health
because when the air quality is in the safe category, it would reduce the
health
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
,
such
as lung cancer that they could get from inhaling dirty air
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
.
In addition
, if
people
become healthy,
governments
would not have to bother with
health
funding.
That is
why,
governments
need to give more attention
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
public
transportation
in their countries, so more
people
want to use it.
Moreover
, if
governments
are only focus
Change the verb form
are only focusing
are only focused
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
other aspects
such
as
cost
but
neglecting
Wrong verb form
neglect
show examples
public
transportation
, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
never solve the root issue, which is affordability. As we can tell, majorities of
people
are in the lower to
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
category. Imagine if
governments
only provide a privatised highway that mostly
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
show examples
double than public
transportation
fare,
people
would spend more money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their daily commuting.
Furthermore
, it would burden their monthly or maybe annual
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
just for commuting
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
.
That is
why they need public
transportation
for daily commuting because it is affordable for everyone. In conclusion, funding for public
transportation
is the best solution for
governments
to tackle many issues, because public
transportation
could reduce
carbon
Add an article
the carbon
show examples
footprint that
caused
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
environmental and
health
problems.
Moreover
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
giving public
transportation
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper funding,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would
also
help the
governments
to control the living
cost
for many
people
.
Submitted by arsyiiimuhammad061 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction and conclusion
While the essay does have an introduction and conclusion, they could be more compelling and restate the main arguments more effectively. Make sure your conclusion succinctly summarizes your key points.
logical structure
Some parts of the essay could benefit from clearer transitions. Ensure that each paragraph links smoothly to the next and that ideas build logically on one another.
relevant and specific examples
Use more specific examples to support your points. This would make your arguments stronger and more persuasive. For instance, you could talk about specific cities where investment in public transport has led to improved air quality.
clear ideas
The essay presents clear ideas and addresses both viewpoints effectively. The writer's position is clear and well-justified.
supported main points
The support for why governments should invest in public transportation is well-thought-out, particularly the link made between public transport and health benefits.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • government expenditure
  • public transportation infrastructure
  • congestion
  • productivity
  • environmental sustainability
  • allocate funds
  • cost-effective
  • balancing priorities
  • reduce carbon emissions
  • urban planning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: