IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that governments should spend money for faster public transportation, others think that there are other important priorities (e.g. cost, environment). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The half of population
state
Correct subject-verb agreement
states
show examples
 that
governments
Use synonyms
 should fund more for better public
transportation
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, others argue that public
transportation
Use synonyms
 is trivial, so it would
better
Add a missing verb
be better
show examples
 for
governments
Use synonyms
 to spend on other issues. Personally, I agree with the first statement, because
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
giving public
transportation
Use synonyms
 better funding,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would
also
Linking Words
 tackle many problems in the cities or countries. First of all, the most obvious benefit of public
transportation
Use synonyms
 is eco-friendly. As we all know, by using public
transportation
Use synonyms
, cities or countries could reduce their carbon footprint caused by private vehicles. Studies found that the country
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 have
a
Remove the article
apply
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good public
transportation
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more likely
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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better air quality than
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 that
relies
Correct subject-verb agreement
rely
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 on private vehicles.
Furthermore
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,
this
Linking Words
 eco-friendly aspect
are
Change the verb form
is
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also
Linking Words
 beneficial for
people
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's
health
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 because when the air quality is in the safe category, it would reduce the
health
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risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
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,
such
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 as lung cancer that they could get from inhaling dirty air
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
.
In addition
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, if
people
Use synonyms
 become healthy,
governments
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 would not have to bother with
health
Use synonyms
 funding.
That is
Linking Words
 why,
governments
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 need to give more attention
for
Change preposition
to
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 public
transportation
Use synonyms
 in their countries, so more
people
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 want to use it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if
governments
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are only focus
Change the verb form
are only focusing
are only focused
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in
Change preposition
on
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 other aspects
such
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 as
cost
Use synonyms
 but
neglecting
Wrong verb form
neglect
show examples
 public
transportation
Use synonyms
, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 never solve the root issue, which is affordability. As we can tell, majorities of
people
Use synonyms
 are in the lower to
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
 category. Imagine if
governments
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 only provide a privatised highway that mostly
Use synonyms
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
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 double than public
transportation
Use synonyms
 fare,
people
Use synonyms
 would spend more money
for
Change preposition
on
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 their daily commuting.
Furthermore
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, it would burden their monthly or maybe annual
Use synonyms
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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 just for commuting
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
.
That is
Linking Words
 why they need public
transportation
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 for daily commuting because it is affordable for everyone. In conclusion, funding for public
transportation
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 is the best solution for
governments
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 to tackle many issues, because public
transportation
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 could reduce
carbon
Add an article
the carbon
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 footprint that
caused
Wrong verb form
causes
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 environmental and
health
Use synonyms
 problems.
Moreover
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,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
giving public
transportation
Use synonyms
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper funding,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would
also
Linking Words
 help the
governments
Use synonyms
 to control the living
cost
Use synonyms
 for many
people
Use synonyms
.

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introduction and conclusion
While the essay does have an introduction and conclusion, they could be more compelling and restate the main arguments more effectively. Make sure your conclusion succinctly summarizes your key points.
logical structure
Some parts of the essay could benefit from clearer transitions. Ensure that each paragraph links smoothly to the next and that ideas build logically on one another.
relevant and specific examples
Use more specific examples to support your points. This would make your arguments stronger and more persuasive. For instance, you could talk about specific cities where investment in public transport has led to improved air quality.
clear ideas
The essay presents clear ideas and addresses both viewpoints effectively. The writer's position is clear and well-justified.
supported main points
The support for why governments should invest in public transportation is well-thought-out, particularly the link made between public transport and health benefits.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • government expenditure
  • public transportation infrastructure
  • congestion
  • productivity
  • environmental sustainability
  • allocate funds
  • cost-effective
  • balancing priorities
  • reduce carbon emissions
  • urban planning
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