IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the parents of your australian friend chris have invited you to a surprise birthday party for her write a letter to chris 's parents. In your letter say why you think Chris will enjoy the surprise party esplain why you won't be able to attend the party give details of a plan to see Chris at a different time

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Dear Mrs/Mr Kave, I am writing in connection with the invitation
for
Change preposition
to
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 the surprise birthday
party
Use synonyms
 of Chris on Monday. I never forget the
time
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 we had together at Sepid School. He is swamped with
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 and she has a
tight-schedule
Correct your spelling
tight schedule
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 so I believe she would enjoy
this
Linking Words
party
Use synonyms
 because she never
think
Change the verb form
thinks
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about
Correct pronoun usage
about it
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. It
woud
Correct your spelling
would
 be a blast! Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend the
party
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 because I cannot manage my
time
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 for
this
Linking Words
. To explain more, after graduating
university
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from university
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, I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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started to work as a manager at the Blue Company. I should check taxes and workforce timetables.
In addition
Linking Words
, I ought to control their performance and their office circumstance. Because of these activities, I do not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to attend the
party
Use synonyms
 on Monday. I hope to make a plan to see her as soon as possible. I hope to see her another
time
Use synonyms
 at the coffee.
Due to
Linking Words
 the fact that I know she is
a
Change the article
apply
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fond of fancy coffees, I would try inviting her to Sara Coffee in the vicinity of our office. I believe we would have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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quality
time
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 with each other. I look forward to
recieving
Correct your spelling
receiving
 a
kindly
Change the word
kind
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responce
Correct your spelling
response
 from you. Best wishes,
Mashid
Correct your spelling
Mashed

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task achievement
In your letter, try to be a bit more specific about why Chris would enjoy the party. Mentioning any specific surprises or activities they enjoy could strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in the use of pronouns. For example, you mentioned Chris as 'he' once and as 'she' later. Maintaining gender consistency is crucial for clarity.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure in your letter which makes it easy to follow. Each paragraph addresses a different aspect of the task effectively.
task achievement
The tone of your writing is appropriate for a letter of this nature. It is polite and friendly, which suits the context well.
task achievement
You have successfully covered all parts of the task, explaining why Chris would enjoy the party, why you cannot attend, and proposing a future plan to meet.
coherence cohesion
The closing of the letter is appropriate and polite, leaving a good impression.
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