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Writing Samples
Band 4

It is important for children to learn the diffrence between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what wxtent do you agree or disagree with this opinion. what sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children

#children #diffrence #right #age #punishment #distinction #wxtent #sort #parents #teachers #behavior
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Recently, the topic
about
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of
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 the necessity of punishment for young children has been extra popular. There are a lot of discussions about the
relevancy
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relevance
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 of teaching kids the difference between right and wrong at an early age.
While
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 there are many different ways to teach and punish a child,
this
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 essay will support the idea of rather teaching than applying cruelty.
While
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 it is crucial to explain to a kid what is wrong and right, I believe there are multiple efficient ways of showing those things rather than
a
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punishment itself. Nowadays, both parents and teachers have
an
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easy access to various online resources about children's
pshychology
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psychology
.
As a result
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grown
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ups can learn better ways of
communication
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communicating
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 with their children. Talking and discussing issues and problems will lead to a better well-being of both conflicting sides, which can
result
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result in
result from
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 the future only in a positive way. When it comes to
the
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apply
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situations that might require a more strict approach punishments like limiting time online or the amount of pocket money might be acceptable.
However
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, parents have to bear in mind those actions might lead to a lot of
ressistance
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resistance
,
especailly
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especially
 among
teenages
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teenagers
. Even though
,
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 some kinds of restrictions might still be used, they should be applied very carefully.
Firstly
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, each argument should be aimed to be tackled via a dialogue and only mild limitations might be used in some
extraordinary
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extraordinarily
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 rare situations.
Submitted by anapoliakovaa on

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task achievement
While your essay addresses the topic well, ensure clearer task achievement by responding directly to the prompt questions, discussing both agreement/disagreement clearly, and offering a concise resolution on the forms of punishment parents and teachers may use.
coherence cohesion
To strengthen your coherence and cohesion, consider providing a more structured conclusion that summarizes your key points effectively. Additionally, improve the logical flow between paragraphs to maintain a cohesive argument throughout your essay.
task achievement
Adding more specific examples or scenarios can substantiate your main points and make your arguments more compelling and relevant to the discussion.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the context and states a clear thesis that guides the readership on what to expect in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing, making it easy for readers to follow your line of reasoning.
coherence cohesion
You have used appropriate vocabulary and varied sentence structure, which contributes positively to overall readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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