Some people believe that sport should be a compulsory school subject while others argue that children should only study academic subjects like maths and history at school. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Schools provide knowledge and values that are of utmost importance in children's development. Some principles can be conveyed on a day-to-day basis in the classroom,
however
, the dynamic of sports
contributes deeply to forging invaluable skills and habits. It is discussed whether sports
should be a compulsory school subject or just stick to traditional matters such
as math or history. In this
essay, the benefits of each one will be discussed, and we will provide our opinion.
Performing sports
, undoubtedly, boosts children's behavior and health. On the one hand, how they interact with others is enhanced by sportsmanship, teamwork, and discipline. On the other one, their health and stamina are increased as they practice and compete. For instance
, a young family member, who practices sports
, is showing an early mature development, whereas
another member who is almost his age is a completely different case, not taking responsibility for his actions and not being disciplined. Hence
, nobody can deny the beneficial impact of this
culture.
Similarly
, classical compulsory subjects contribute to general knowledge and the education providers are crucial to transmit values to their pupils. Moreover
, quality formation for the youngsters will facilitate further
studies such
as professional degrees, thus
, said subjects cannot be overlooked. For example
, a few of my classmates from high school were given scholarships due to
their outstanding performance in the scholar year. Impressively, all of them studied at the best elementary school, which brings insight into how important this
is.
In conclusion, both sports
and relevant subjects should be taught as a whole, focusing on the best ways to help students reach their greatest potential academically, individually, and as a part of society.Submitted by gerunch on
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coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure with clear paragraphing, which aids coherence and cohesion. Be sure each paragraph has a clear focal point that's expanded upon for improved clarity.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and functional, but could be improved by directly addressing the essay question and stating your opinion more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported, but could be strengthened with more detailed and varied examples. Integrating a wider range of pertinent examples enhances the argumentative impact of the essay.
task achievement
The completeness of the response could be improved. The task requires discussing both views and providing your own opinion. Ensure that equal weight is given to both perspectives before clearly presenting your personal stance.
task achievement
While ideas presented are generally clear, they could be more comprehensive in addressing the topic prompt. Strive to fully explore the implications and nuances of each viewpoint to show a deep understanding of the subject.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples is essential for a high score. Examples given are somewhat relevant but lack specificity. Providing concrete, detailed examples to support points would enhance the quality of your response.
Your opinion
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