Some people believe that sport should be a compulsory school subject while others argue that children should only study academic subjects like maths and history at school. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sport #school #children #study #subjects #maths #history

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Schools provide knowledge and values that are of utmost importance in children's development. Some principles can be conveyed on a day-to-day basis in the classroom,

however

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, the dynamic of

sports

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contributes deeply to forging invaluable skills and habits. It is discussed whether

sports

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should be a compulsory school subject or just stick to traditional matters

such

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as math or history. In

this

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essay, the benefits of each one will be discussed, and we will provide our opinion. Performing

sports

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, undoubtedly, boosts children's behavior and health. On the one hand, how they interact with others is enhanced by sportsmanship, teamwork, and discipline. On the other one, their health and stamina are increased as they practice and compete.

For instance

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, a young family member, who practices

sports

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, is showing an early mature development,

whereas

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another member who is almost his age is a completely different case, not taking responsibility for his actions and not being disciplined.

Hence

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, nobody can deny the beneficial impact of

this

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culture.

Similarly

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, classical compulsory subjects contribute to general knowledge and the education providers are crucial to transmit values to their pupils.

Moreover

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, quality formation for the youngsters will facilitate

further

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studies

such

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as professional degrees,

thus

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, said subjects cannot be overlooked.

For example

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, a few of my classmates from high school were given scholarships

due to

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their outstanding performance in the scholar year. Impressively, all of them studied at the best elementary school, which brings insight into how important

this

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is. In conclusion, both

sports

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and relevant subjects should be taught as a whole, focusing on the best ways to help students reach their greatest potential academically, individually, and as a part of society.

Submitted by gerunch on Fri Dec 22 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay maintains a logical structure with clear paragraphing, which aids coherence and cohesion. Be sure each paragraph has a clear focal point that's expanded upon for improved clarity.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present and functional, but could be improved by directly addressing the essay question and stating your opinion more explicitly.

coherence cohesion

The main points are supported, but could be strengthened with more detailed and varied examples. Integrating a wider range of pertinent examples enhances the argumentative impact of the essay.

task achievement

The completeness of the response could be improved. The task requires discussing both views and providing your own opinion. Ensure that equal weight is given to both perspectives before clearly presenting your personal stance.

task achievement

While ideas presented are generally clear, they could be more comprehensive in addressing the topic prompt. Strive to fully explore the implications and nuances of each viewpoint to show a deep understanding of the subject.

task achievement

The use of relevant and specific examples is essential for a high score. Examples given are somewhat relevant but lack specificity. Providing concrete, detailed examples to support points would enhance the quality of your response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Compulsory
School curriculum
Physical education
Cognitive development
Teamwork
Discipline
Physical health
Academic performance
Core subjects
Well-rounded
Educational prospects
Extra-curricular activities

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Some people believe that sport should be a compulsory school subject while others argue that children should only study academic subjects like maths and history at school. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Nowadays, many people prefer to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reason for this? Do you think it is a positve or negative development?

When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programs) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity, what is your opinion?

Some people think that governments should invest mainly in making public transportation faster while other think there are more important priorities (cost, the environment). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase fuel costs for cars and other means of transportation. Do you agree or disagree?