People in the current generation are not fit and active. What are the problems with this issue? What can be done to encourage people to participate in sports activities?

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Inadequate exercise in the twenty-first century constitutes a widespread challenge for humanity and has the potential to result in a sedentary lifestyle. Poor health and a boring life are some ramifications of

this

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downward trajectory which can be addressed by introducing more well-thought physical education hours into the school

curriculum

Use synonyms

. On the one hand, a sedentary lifestyle can bring about tremendous disadvantages encompassing various health malfunctions

as well as

Linking Words

a tedious way of life. If an individual undermines fitness, the risks of early illness would be much higher and

this

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type of personality will not attract many

friends

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for example

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Furthermore

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, being inactive not only downgrades the functionality of the immune system which can result in pernicious diseases but

also

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leads to the isolation of that person from social gatherings.

Hence

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, having fewer

friends

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as a result

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of not participating in collective athletic activities brings about a tedious and lonely lifestyle.

On the other hand

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this

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is a significant societal phenomenon that ought to be addressed by introducing more high-quality and methodical sports hours into the school

curriculum

Use synonyms

. If students enjoy exercising among their

friends

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at school they will definitely promote

this

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experience to their families and work colleagues later in life,

for instance

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Moreover

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, juveniles will witness peer pressure during physical education hours which will in turn encourage them to practice their desired activity.

Therefore

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, educational authorities would barely find any superior alternative to a vibrant and energetic

curriculum

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in order to tempt adolescents to practice sports. In conclusion, neglecting physical activities will produce severe repercussions regarding health and

also

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will lead to diminished levels of social interactions.

Nevertheless

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, I unequivocally support educational institutions introducing a modern, flexible and unprecedentedly innovative sports

curriculum

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so the younger generation becomes used to exercising among

friends

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not as a mandatory obligation but as a cherished hobby.

Submitted by sajjad.talebi2020 on Mon Aug 19 2024

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task achievement

Expand on the specific examples provided, especially in the second body paragraph. Adding more real-life examples would make your argument more robust.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the ideas flow smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. Some transitions between points are slightly abrupt and could be improved for better fluidity.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a well-rounded response to the topic.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay with well-supported main points on both the problems and solutions.

task achievement

The response is complete and addresses both parts of the question effectively.

task achievement

Main ideas are clear and comprehensive, pointing out both the issues and potential solutions effectively.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

chronic diseases
prevalence
obesity
cardiovascular conditions
mental health
physical inactivity
stress hormones
endorphins
social consequence
community bonds
teamwork
social development
mandatory physical activity programs
public awareness campaigns
sedentary lifestyle
influencers
development and maintenance
subsidized access
physical well-being
healthcare systems

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People in the current generation are not fit and active. What are the problems with this issue? What can be done to encourage people to participate in sports activities?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want? Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?