People in the current generation are not fit and active. What are the problems with this issue? What can be done to encourage people to participate in sports activities?
Inadequate exercise in the twenty-first century constitutes a widespread challenge for humanity and has the potential to result in a sedentary lifestyle. Poor health and a boring life are some ramifications of
this
downward trajectory which can be addressed by introducing more well-thought physical education hours into the school curriculum
.
On the one hand, a sedentary lifestyle can bring about tremendous disadvantages encompassing various health malfunctions as well as
a tedious way of life. If an individual undermines fitness, the risks of early illness would be much higher and this
type of personality will not attract many friends
, for example
. Furthermore
, being inactive not only downgrades the functionality of the immune system which can result in pernicious diseases but also
leads to the isolation of that person from social gatherings. Hence
, having fewer friends
as a result
of not participating in collective athletic activities brings about a tedious and lonely lifestyle.
On the other hand
, this
is a significant societal phenomenon that ought to be addressed by introducing more high-quality and methodical sports hours into the school curriculum
. If students enjoy exercising among their friends
at school they will definitely promote this
experience to their families and work colleagues later in life, for instance
. Moreover
, juveniles will witness peer pressure during physical education hours which will in turn encourage them to practice their desired activity. Therefore
, educational authorities would barely find any superior alternative to a vibrant and energetic curriculum
in order to tempt adolescents to practice sports.
In conclusion, neglecting physical activities will produce severe repercussions regarding health and also
will lead to diminished levels of social interactions. Nevertheless
, I unequivocally support educational institutions introducing a modern, flexible and unprecedentedly innovative sports curriculum
so the younger generation becomes used to exercising among friends
not as a mandatory obligation but as a cherished hobby.Submitted by sajjad.talebi2020 on
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task achievement
Expand on the specific examples provided, especially in the second body paragraph. Adding more real-life examples would make your argument more robust.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the ideas flow smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. Some transitions between points are slightly abrupt and could be improved for better fluidity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a well-rounded response to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay with well-supported main points on both the problems and solutions.
task achievement
The response is complete and addresses both parts of the question effectively.
task achievement
Main ideas are clear and comprehensive, pointing out both the issues and potential solutions effectively.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...