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Band 6.5

Some systems require students to specialise in a limited range of subjects from the age of fifteen. Other systems require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of these two education systems and which is better?

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There has been discussion revolving around whether letting
students
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 pick
school
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subjects
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 at the age of fifteen is a positive choice or not. Some people believe that the system should require
students
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 to
study
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 a wide
range
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 of
subjects
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 at
school
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while
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 others believe that it is better for children to specialize in a more limited
range
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 of
subjects
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. In
this
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 essay, I will look into the advantages and disadvantages of these two education systems and present my way of seeing
this
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 issue. First and foremost, specializing in a few specific
subjects
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 in
school
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 can help create deeper knowledge in a particular area. Having a limited
range
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 of
subjects
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 can help
students
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 understand whether they want to link their studies after
school
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 to that area.
This
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 could help
students
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 decide what they want to do in work and understand their true passion.
For example
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, choosing science
subjects
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 like biology and chemistry can truly help decide whether a medicine major is the right way for a person.
Secondly
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, having a limited
range
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 of
subjects
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 can help with the amount of schoolwork
students
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 get. Having a whole bunch of
subjects
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 can lead to tiredness and mental issues but if a student can stay focused on only on few
subjects
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, it can help by reaching higher grades and focusing on something important.
For instance
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, having a lot of
subjects
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 will not help
students
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 concentrate and understand what they want
so
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to
show examples
study
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 in university
while
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 having only a few classes can help them understand what they like.
On the other hand
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, letting
students
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 decide what they want to
study
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 at the age of fifteen puts a lot of pressure on kids.
This
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 big decision could have an impact on their future even though most teenagers do not know what they want to
study
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 even after they finish high
school
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. Having considered both views, I want to say that it is a wonderful opportunity for teens to try a specific area of
study
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while
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 they are in high
school
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 but it should not determine their future.

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Task Achievement
To improve task response, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Include a more direct comparison of the two systems and explicitly state which one you believe is better, supported by clear reasoning.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance coherence by linking your ideas more smoothly. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs, ensuring a seamless flow of ideas throughout your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Increase cohesion by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a distinct main point. Make sure each paragraph starts with a topic sentence that introduces the point being discussed.
Task Achievement
To further support your main points, incorporate a wider variety of examples and evidence. Detailing real-world examples or citing studies can strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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