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Band 6.5

Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#information #culture #history #museums #art #galleries
The Internet gives us instant access to a mine of information on almost any subject. It is considered by some individuals that
museums
 and art
galleries
 are not needed anymore, as everything is available online. I strongly disagree with
this
 view and the reasons for the same are discussed in the following paragraphs. 
To begin
 with,
museums
 and art
galleries
 provide an immersive, hands-on experience that simply cannot be replicated through online resources.
Moreover
, they
also
 offer educational programs, workshops, and interactive exhibits that enhance the learning experience.
Additionally
, curated exhibits in
museums
 and
galleries
 are put together by experts in the field, ensuring the authenticity and quality of content.
This
 level of curation and scholarly input is difficult to find in online resources, where misinformation can be
prevalents
Correct your spelling
prevalent
.
Furthermore
, these institutions often serve as cultural hubs that foster community engagement and interaction. They
hosts
Change the verb form
host
show examples
 events, exhibitions, and activities that bring people together, thereby strengthening community ties and promoting cultural heritage.
Also
, they play a crucial role in preserving cultural and historical
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
. They ensure that items are properly conserved and safeguarded for future generations, which cannot be done through digital means alone.
Like wise
Correct your spelling
Likewise
show examples
,
museums
 and art
galleries
 contribute significantly to the local economy through tourism. They create jobs and attract visitors, which in turn supports relegated businesses like hotels and restaurants.
To conclude
,
although
 it is true that people are shifting towards digital modes of information, it does not necessarily mean that online experience can replace going and visiting experiences.
Therefore
, we still need these places to visit and learn.
Submitted by krnveerrsingh on

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task achievement
While your main points are clearly presented, providing more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments would make your essay even stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured, but try to make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. This can be done by using more cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases, to link your ideas together.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You have comprehensively addressed the task and presented clear ideas about the importance of museums and art galleries.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive
  • hands-on experience
  • interactive exhibits
  • preservation
  • cultural and historical artifacts
  • safeguarded
  • community engagement
  • heritage
  • authenticity
  • curated exhibits
  • scholarly input
  • misinformation
  • economic impact
  • tourism
  • emotional and aesthetic responses
  • atmosphere
  • ambiance
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