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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some think college is best for career preparation, while others prefer gaining work experience early. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#think #college #career #preparation #work
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In the globalized world, after finishing
school
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, the majority of young people choose to work rather than attend tertiary education,
such
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 as colleges or universities. They consider gaining job experience at early stages to be more beneficial than continuing their studies. In the following essay, I will discuss the main reasons for these differing views and conclude with my opinion. In my view, both options have their advantages and disadvantages. The main reason why many youngsters begin to work early is to improve their financial situation. They try to become independent and earn money as soon as possible. One of the benefits of working straight after
school
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 is that you gain practical experience.
Additionally
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, you have the chance to develop important skills,
such
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 as communication, teamwork, leadership, and other practical skills.
However
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, a drawback of working in the initial years is that young people might lose interest in continuing their studies. Regarding studying at university, I believe it is more beneficial for several reasons.
Firstly
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, many professions require academic qualifications
such
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 as undergraduate, postgraduate, and doctoral
degrees
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.
For instance
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, to work as a doctor, you must attend medical
school
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 and obtain a medical degree.
Secondly
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, in the labour market, more employers seek individuals with higher qualifications, leading to increased competition among job seekers. Despite
this
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 competition, preference is often given to those with higher education.
Furthermore
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, individuals with higher education
degrees
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 typically earn better salaries than those without university
degrees
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.
Thus
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, university graduates have access to more and better job opportunities.
To sum up
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, I definitely support the opinion that after finishing
school
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, people should enrol in universities. With the help of bachelor's and master's
degrees
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, they will be able to achieve significant career growth.
Submitted by shani.menglieva.94 on

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task achievement
Expand and detail your examples further to strengthen your argument. For instance, specific examples of individuals who succeeded via either path could be insightful.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain logical flow throughout your essay. This can help with readability.
coherence cohesion
Strong, clear introduction and conclusion are present, suitably framing the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both perspectives of the topic, showcasing a balanced view.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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