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Band 6.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
People
 from a number of countries consider purchasing a flat rather than renting one to be a vital factor in their lives. In my opinion, the sense of belonging owning a
home
 gives
people
 can give rise to
this
 thought. I am
also
 convinced that it is not potentially a negative situation
although
 under certain circumstances. I am of the opinion that having their own house will give some individuals the feeling that they belong to a certain location and
people
. When they live in a neighbourhood for a long time, they become familiar with the location and get to know other
people
 well.
Whereas
 in a rental
home
, some
people
 find it hard to feel ‘’
home
’’ in the first place, as they know their stay is temporary. Even though they regard where they live as their ‘’
home
’’, if they were compelled to change it one day
due to
 different reasons, some of them can not leave all the friendships and habits established in the former place. I
further
 believe that regarding owning a
home
 as an important factor, is not negative unless it becomes a sign of wealth in a society. It is an undeniable fact that all over the world, there are some households who find it hard to afford to buy a house
due to
 financial issues. If culture and society impose
this
 thought on families that buying a house plays a vital role in their lives, they will be forced to buy a flat
although
 they can not bear the costs. Public awareness should be raised towards other positive effects of owning a
home
, not its financial importance.
To conclude
, it is my view that the reason why having their own flat becomes crucial for some
people
 may be the fact that they tend to get used to all the things related to that
home
 and neighbourhood.
Moreover
, I believe that if
this
 case becomes financially important, it can have several drawbacks on the culture and society.
Submitted by mahtab.motevallian on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a satisfactory structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, but each body paragraph should ideally focus on just one main idea. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central theme that is fully developed and supported by concrete examples.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task equally. In this essay, more focus could be placed on explaining the implications of ownership being seen as a sign of wealth, and its societal impacts could be explored more deeply. Providing specific examples would help bolster the argument and increase comprehensiveness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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