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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#countries #aid #hasn’t #poverty #nations
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There is no denying the fact that financial
aid
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 from developed countries plays a crucial role in shaping the economic landscape of poor nations.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that
such
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aid
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 is essential, there is
also
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 an argument that it has not solved the problem of
poverty
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. In my opinion, I consider the impact of financial
aid
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 on
poverty
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 alleviation and the need for other types of
assistance
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 cannot be overlooked.
To begin
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 with, financial
aid
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 has significant effects on the economies of poor countries.
In other words
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, it provides immediate relief and supports basic needs
such
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 as healthcare,
education
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, and infrastructure.
However
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, despite these benefits, the challenges posed by systemic
poverty
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 require urgent attention and action.
For example
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,
according to
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 a report by the World Bank,
while
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 financial
aid
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 has helped reduce extreme
poverty
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 in some regions, it has not addressed the root causes of
poverty
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such
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 as corruption, poor governance, and lack of economic opportunities (World Bank, 2021). Another point to consider is that other types of
assistance
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 can be more effective in addressing the underlying issues of
poverty
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. It is
also
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 possible to say that investing in capacity building,
education
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, and technology transfer can create long-term sustainable
development
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.
Moreover
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, the benefits of
such
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 investments extend beyond immediate relief.
For instance
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, a study published by the International Monetary Fund (IMF) suggests that countries which have received technical
assistance
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 and capacity-building support have shown greater improvements in economic stability and growth compared to those that rely solely on financial
aid
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 (IMF, 2020).
Additionally
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, comparisons made in the journal "
Development
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 Economics" highlight that nations focusing on
education
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 and skill
development
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 see more significant
poverty
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 reduction than those that only receive financial
aid
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 (Journal of
Development
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 Economics, 2019). In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that addressing
poverty
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 requires a multifaceted approach. By implementing and supporting other types of
assistance
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such
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 as capacity building,
education
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, and technology transfer, we can create sustainable economic growth and reduce
poverty
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 more effectively. Individuals and organizations should advocate for comprehensive strategies that go beyond financial
aid
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 to ensure long-term
development
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 and prosperity for poor nations.
Submitted by fatoomdes on

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task achievement
You have provided a well-rounded argument with strong supporting points. To enhance your score, consider integrating more diverse perspectives and potential counterarguments to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is coherent and easy to follow. However, to further improve cohesion, consider using more varied transition words and phrases to link your paragraphs and ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples that effectively support your main points.
task achievement
The main points are clearly stated and well articulated, contributing to a comprehensive and convincing argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial aid
  • development aid
  • sustainable development
  • economic growth
  • vocational training
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure development
  • trade and investment
  • healthcare initiatives
  • technological transfers
  • corruption and governance
  • effective utilization
  • long-term solutions
  • economic disparity
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