You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. Write to the tour operator. In your letter: • Explain why you're interested in the tour. • Ask for information about dates and prices. • Express your concerns about your fitness level.

#brochure #tour #mountains #re #part #wouldn #operator #information #dates #prices #concerns #fitness #level

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Dear Sir, I am James, I saw your company tour package catalogue that says

your

Change the pronoun

you

show examples

are organizing a walking tour

nearly

Change preposition

for nearly

show examples

one week

Change preposition

show examples

hills

Correct article usage

the hills

show examples

area.

Moreover

, I

have

Verb problem

show examples

more keen and

enthusiastically

Change the word

enthusiastic

show examples

waiting

Verb problem

apply

show examples

to join your team

Change preposition

show examples

this

trip

However

last

week I

met

Verb problem

had

show examples

an accident and my right side was fractured, now I am using

Add an article

the

show examples

stick to walk.

Hence

, I requested,

you

Correct word choice

that you

show examples

could

Verb problem

apply

show examples

allow me to participate in

this

trip

In addition

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, as a tour operator, please provide me

the

Add the preposition

with the

show examples

trip

starting date and cost of

this

packages

Fix the agreement mistake

package

show examples

. All details please send me to my mail which I attached in

this

letter. Eventually, I

have

Verb problem

became

show examples

more anxious about my health, because I

can't

Wrong verb form

couldn't

show examples

able to walk rapidly.

Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

, orthologists

advice

Replace the word

advised

show examples

this

wound

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

heal within one week.

Hence

, I need your assistance during

this

walking

trip

. So, kindly consider my

requestation

Correct your spelling

request

and give me

green

Add an article

the green

show examples

signal to join in

this

adventure

trip

. Yours faithfully, James.

Submitted by smsundaram57 on Wed Jun 19 2024

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writing tone

Consider revising your phrasing for better clarity and grammatical accuracy. For example, instead of 'I have more keen and enthusiastically waiting,' you could write 'I am very keen and enthusiastic.'

single idea per paragraph

Ensure each paragraph contains a single main idea to avoid clutter. This improves readability and helps the reader follow your points more easily.

complete response

It might be beneficial to include more specific information about your walking capabilities post-injury to help the tour operator assess your situation.

greeting closing

Your letter follows the structure of a formal letter well, including a suitable greeting and closing.

complete response

You've covered all necessary points: your interest in the tour, questions about dates and prices, and your concerns about your fitness level.

suitable writing tone

Your tone is polite and respectful, which is appropriate for this kind of formal communication.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

160 words

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