You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. Write to the tour operator. In your letter: • Explain why you're interested in the tour. • Ask for information about dates and prices. • Express your concerns about your fitness level.
#brochure #tour #mountains #re #part #wouldn #operator #information #dates #prices #concerns #fitness #level
Dear Sir,
I am James, I saw your company tour package catalogue that says stick to walk.
your
are organizing a walking tour Change the pronoun
you
nearly
one week Change preposition
for nearly
at
Change preposition
in
hills
area. Correct article usage
the hills
Moreover
, I have
more keen and Verb problem
am
enthusiastically
Change the word
enthusiastic
waiting
to join your team Verb problem
apply
in
Change preposition
on
this
trip
. However
, last
week I met
an accident and my right side was fractured, now I am usingVerb problem
had
Add an article
a
the
Hence
, I requested, you
Correct word choice
that you
could
allow me to participate in Verb problem
apply
this
trip
.
In addition
to
, as a tour operator, please provide me Change preposition
apply
the
Add the preposition
with the
trip
starting date and cost of this
packages
. All details please send me to my mail which I attached in Fix the agreement mistake
package
this
letter.
Eventually, I have
more anxious about my health, because I Verb problem
became
can't
able to walk rapidly. Wrong verb form
couldn't
Although
, orthologists Correct word choice
However
advice
me Replace the word
advised
this
wound will
heal within one week. Wrong verb form
would
Hence
, I need your assistance during this
walking trip
. So, kindly consider my requestation
and give me Correct your spelling
request
green
signal to join in Add an article
the green
this
adventure trip
.
Yours faithfully,
James.Submitted by smsundaram57 on
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writing tone
Consider revising your phrasing for better clarity and grammatical accuracy. For example, instead of 'I have more keen and enthusiastically waiting,' you could write 'I am very keen and enthusiastic.'
single idea per paragraph
Ensure each paragraph contains a single main idea to avoid clutter. This improves readability and helps the reader follow your points more easily.
complete response
It might be beneficial to include more specific information about your walking capabilities post-injury to help the tour operator assess your situation.
greeting closing
Your letter follows the structure of a formal letter well, including a suitable greeting and closing.
complete response
You've covered all necessary points: your interest in the tour, questions about dates and prices, and your concerns about your fitness level.
suitable writing tone
Your tone is polite and respectful, which is appropriate for this kind of formal communication.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite