You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. Write to the tour operator. In your letter: • Explain why you're interested in the tour. • Ask for information about dates and prices. • Express your concerns about your fitness level.

Dear Sir, I am James, I saw your company tour package catalogue that says
your
Change the pronoun
you
show examples
are organizing a walking tour
nearly
Change preposition
for nearly
show examples
one week
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
hills
Correct article usage
the hills
show examples
area.
Moreover
, I
have
Verb problem
am
show examples
more keen and
enthusiastically
Change the word
enthusiastic
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waiting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to join your team
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
trip
.
However
,
last
week I
met
Verb problem
had
show examples
an accident and my right side was fractured, now I am using
Add an article
a
the
show examples
stick to walk.
Hence
, I requested,
you
Correct word choice
that you
show examples
could
Verb problem
apply
show examples
allow me to participate in
this
trip
.
In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, as a tour operator, please provide me
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
trip
starting date and cost of
this
packages
Fix the agreement mistake
package
show examples
. All details please send me to my mail which I attached in
this
letter. Eventually, I
have
Verb problem
became
show examples
more anxious about my health, because I
can't
Wrong verb form
couldn't
show examples
able to walk rapidly.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, orthologists
advice
Replace the word
advised
show examples
me
this
wound
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
heal within one week.
Hence
, I need your assistance during
this
walking
trip
. So, kindly consider my
requestation
Correct your spelling
request
and give me
green
Add an article
the green
show examples
signal to join in
this
adventure
trip
. Yours faithfully, James.
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

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writing tone
Consider revising your phrasing for better clarity and grammatical accuracy. For example, instead of 'I have more keen and enthusiastically waiting,' you could write 'I am very keen and enthusiastic.'
single idea per paragraph
Ensure each paragraph contains a single main idea to avoid clutter. This improves readability and helps the reader follow your points more easily.
complete response
It might be beneficial to include more specific information about your walking capabilities post-injury to help the tour operator assess your situation.
greeting closing
Your letter follows the structure of a formal letter well, including a suitable greeting and closing.
complete response
You've covered all necessary points: your interest in the tour, questions about dates and prices, and your concerns about your fitness level.
suitable writing tone
Your tone is polite and respectful, which is appropriate for this kind of formal communication.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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