IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Owing to the necessity of
community
Use synonyms
 enhancement, there is no doubt that promoting public services as a compulsory part of high school lectures is crucial for better generation production. It is a commonly held belief that unpaid
community
Use synonyms
 services can pose positive effects.
However
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, there are
also
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 arguments that oppose
this
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 idea. In my opinion, I am convinced that volunteer activity is critical for personal development.
To begin
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 with, it is widely known that unpaid
community
Use synonyms
 service implementation will demonstrably contribute to nourishing significant traits in individuals' lives.
In other words
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, characteristics like empathy, wise judgements, and providing help when needed emerge when young individuals are encouraged to engage in charity tasks.
For example
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, a child who had an opportunity to fix
neighbour's
Correct article usage
a neighbour's
show examples
 house without being paid will probably be kind when gets older.
Furthermore
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, adequate skills are taken when participating in certain types of
community
Use synonyms
 servicing.
For instance
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, teaching volleyball sport to younger children is a chance to get more knowledge about volleyball and to become more expert. Another point to consider, if these charm services are not managed properly, dramatic obstacles will occur. It is
also
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 possible to say that improper companies and organizations can create challenges for motivated young students.
For instance
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, unfair companies may demand volunteer hard work tasks
instead
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 of hiring new employees.
Additionally
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, it can be quite a challenge for long unpaid hours.
Such
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 as 9 hours of volunteer work can get a symbol salary as an appreciation for the provided skills in the institutions.
To conclude
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, despite the existence of various views, I strongly agree with allocating unpaid
community
Use synonyms
 servicing to high school programs for better future traits and skills.

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task achievement
Make sure the introduction clearly states your position on the topic at the beginning. This helps the reader understand your opinion right away.
coherence
Use simple linking words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally' to make your ideas flow better. This will help the reader follow your thoughts more easily.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples that clearly relate to your points. More detailed examples will make your ideas stronger and clearer.
coherence
Work on sentence structure and grammar. Some sentences are unclear or have mistakes that can confuse the reader. Try to keep sentences simple and clear.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion that supports your view on community service, which is important for the essay.
task achievement
You provide some good ideas about the benefits of community service, showing its importance for personal development.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
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