Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunize their children against common diseases, or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunize their children?

There is a controversial issue about
vaccines
. Some people argue that
parents
should have the option to immunize their
children
,
while
others believe that vaccinations should be obliged by the government.
This
essay will discuss both sides of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
, concluding that I think that most
diseases
can be prevented by vaccination, so it should not be optional for
parents
. People who argue that
parents
have the right to give
vaccines
to their
children
believe that the human body can defend against disease.
In other words
, if kids are immunized, the
vaccines
may eliminate the baby's immunity.
In addition
to that, some individuals view that
children
can be protected from illness by providing them with a healthy lifestyle.
For example
, when they eat a balanced diet including fruits and vegetables, which contain a significant number of vitamins and minerals, they no longer need to take
vaccines
.
On the other hand
, vaccination must be obligatory for many reasons. One of these reasons is that most fetal childhood
diseases
in previous centuries have been reduced by preventative medicine.
For instance
, many
children
's illnesses,
such
as polio ,and hepatitis have been wiped out. Not only that, but serval studies
also
prove that vaccination is an effective way of reducing the symptoms of
diseases
. As a clear example, nowadays the coronavirus epidemic has been tackled by taking
vaccines
. In conclusion, after a detailed analysis of both sides of the argument, it seems to me that the state has a responsibility for mandating
parents
to immunize their kids to protect them from fatal
diseases
.
Submitted by btool.taher on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Your essay clearly discusses both sides of the argument, but try to include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention more historical examples of diseases eradicated by vaccines.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that your language remains formal and academic throughout. Phrases like 'the human body can defend against disease' could be elaborated with more scientific terminology.
introduction conclusion present
While your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, try to reinforce your argument by briefly restating the key points made in the body paragraphs.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is strong, with clear paragraphs that flow well from one point to another.
complete response
Your essay presents a thorough response to the task, covering both views and providing a clear stance in the conclusion.
supported main points
Main points are well supported, with relevant examples provided to illustrate your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!