In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, the global surge in
crime
rates
has sparked urgent discussions on effective strategies to combat this
pressing issue. While
some advocate for a heavy-handed approach focused on bolstering law enforcement and increasing incarceration rates
, others argue that addressing the root causes of criminal behavior
is essential for long-term success. I firmly agree with the latter perspective, as I believe that tackling factors Change the spelling
behaviour
such
as poverty and limited educational opportunities is paramount in addressing the complex web of issues that contribute to criminal activities.
First and foremost, the absence of quality education can significantly impede an individual's intellectual and moral development, potentially steering them towards criminal behavior
. Studies have consistently shown that communities with lower levels of educational attainment tend to experience higher Change the spelling
behaviour
crime
rates
, suggesting a lack of awareness or understanding of the consequences associated with unlawful actions. Additionally
, education serves as a beacon of hope, guiding individuals towards meaningful career paths and keeping them occupied with constructive pursuits, thereby deterring them from engaging in criminal activities.
Moreover
, economic instability is a pervasive driver of criminal behavior
, particularly in environments plagued by rising inflation and scarce employment opportunities. The harsh reality of financial struggles can push individuals to desperate measures, Change the spelling
behaviour
such
as theft and burglary, in order to meet their basic needs. By addressing poverty-related issues through initiatives that provide economic support and create job opportunities, society can effectively alleviate the financial pressures that often lead individuals down the path of crime
.
In essence, combating crime
necessitates a comprehensive approach that delves into the underlying causes of criminal behavior
. Mere reliance on punitive measures like increased law enforcement presence and higher incarceration Change the spelling
behaviour
rates
may yield short-term results but falls
short of addressing the systemic issues that perpetuate criminal activities. By prioritizing education, economic stability, and social support systems, a safer and more secure environment can be fostered for all members of society, ultimately paving the way for lasting Correct subject-verb agreement
fall
crime
reduction and community well-being.Submitted by TUTOO on
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coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured and well-organized, ensuring each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. To further improve, consider adding more transitional phrases between sentences and paragraphs to enhance cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are strong and clearly state your stance and wrap up the arguments effectively. However, including a brief overview of the main points in the introduction could further strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Your essay covers all aspects of the task response effectively, providing a comprehensive argument in favor of addressing the root causes of crime. Remember to stay deeply focused on the task, ensuring all the points directly support your thesis.
task achievement
The ideas presented in your essay are clear, logical, and well-developed, demonstrating a high level of understanding. To maximize your score, ensure each argument is supplemented with real-world examples or statistics where possible to add depth.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, reflecting a logical flow of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion that effectively state and wrap up the argument.
task achievement
A comprehensive approach to addressing the causes of crime is presented, reflecting a deep understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The ideas are clear, well-developed, and logically presented, contributing to the overall strength of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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