In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advanages and disadvantages of gibing children this message?
There is a general consensus that positive thinking can help to overcome barriers. Some people believe that if a child is assured of success
due to
hard work, they will accomplish it. This
essay will delve into the advantages and disadvantages of this
format of thought.
On one hand, when an impressionable youngster is told they can achieve anything they want, it instils a sense of self-confidence in them. Furthermore
, this
can be the difference between attempting more challenging feats and giving up. For example
, I teach at a small private school where the school motto is "Nothing is too difficult to overcome". The students are taught that if someone has succeeded in a task before, this
is merely a sign that it can be done again.
On the other hand
, if a student is easily anxious and struggles with self-worth, they may misconstrue the positive message. Moreover
, they may start to believe that if they do not achieve their goals, it is thanks to their own deficiency. For example
, a schoolgirl at my establishment worked on her chess skills on a daily basis in order to compete in the leagues. When she lost in the semi-finals, she believed it was a consequence of a shortage of her talent. This
was not the case at all. The truth is there could only be one finalist.
In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages of this
message. Personally, I believe it is important to instil morale in children as they grow up, but not to the extent that it backfires.Submitted by Mangalakumaran.sangeetha on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured and ideas flow logically. To improve even further, consider using more varied transitional phrases to enhance coherence.
task achievement
While the essay thoroughly addresses the topic, adding a few more specific examples or elaborating on the existing ones would make the argument even stronger.
task achievement
The response is complete and addresses the advantages and disadvantages as required by the task prompt.
task achievement
The essay has clear and comprehensive ideas which are well-supported by relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, with clear introduction and conclusion sections.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite