IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Despite better access to education, some adults are not able to read or write. What are the main disadvantages of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

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The destiny of the majority of
people
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 is hinged on the
level
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 of knowledge.
Education
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 plays a pivotal role in success
while
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 low or no literacy levels create troubles among some adults. Being unable to deal with
technology
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 is a common drawback that the majority of
people
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 have to confront in
society
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. With the development of
technology
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, we should be concerned about introducing simple concepts to make them ease regarding
this
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 issue.
To begin
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 with, the average youth is stepping on their path to success with sophisticated
technology
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, and complicated equipment
such
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 as mobile phones, and tablets.
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However
Add a comma
However,
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 the minority of the elderly population has faced some difficulties because of their
level
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 of
education
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, being unable to write or read.A Plethora of examples has proven that most parents are struggling with
technology
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, as they can't control their children and prevent them from being false with their poor abilities.Not only that some
people
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 are stuck at the same place in their job without getting more job opportunities , perks,or promotions
lack
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and lack
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 the adequate literacy
level
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 which is required to deal with high
technology
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.
It is clear that
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 an optimal
education
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level
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 is required to succeed in
this
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society
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.
On the other hand
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, authorities should be considered to grab the knowledge, talents and skills of
people
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 without compared to abilities in their
education
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 but couldn't take jobs in
society
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.
As well as
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,the intelligent youth should tend to introduce a system with science audios Radha words by using a system with signs, audios, rather words by using AIs,
whom
Change the pronoun
who
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 are unable to deal with words .
For instance
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, Google has audio facilitates verbal responses in its dictionary who are not willing to type,chat GPT is
also
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 the same.
To conclude
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, some elderly
people
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 have a challenge in making their lives successful because of their lack of knowledge and difficulties in engaging with
technology
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 .To tackle
this
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 problem , more convenient methods should be introduced by AI developers to fulfil their aims and achieve successful milestones in their life as same as others in
society
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 by considering their talent skills ,not to confine in literacy.

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coherence cohesion
Consider making the essay's structure clearer. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, which should be briefly introduced at the beginning of the paragraph. It will help provide a logical flow to your arguments.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid awkward phrasing and enhance clarity. For example, simplify complex sentences and ensure verb tenses are consistent.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and data to back up your points. This could be done by citing real-life instances or statistical evidence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
You have shown awareness of the technological challenges faced by adults with low literacy levels and provided some interesting solutions.
task achievement
The key issues relating to low literacy levels and technology use among adults are adequately addressed, showcasing your understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • illiterate
  • literacy
  • access to education
  • social stigma
  • employment opportunities
  • cycle of poverty
  • social exclusion
  • medical instructions
  • healthcare providers
  • civic activities
  • democratic processes
  • adult education programs
  • targeted literacy programs
  • self-directed learning
  • public awareness
  • inclusive environment
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