Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children doing paid work?

#people #children #work

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Although

Linking Words

some people suppose that it is advantageous for

children

Use synonyms

to have paid

work

Use synonyms

, others believe that can be dangerous for

youngers

Correct your spelling

youngsters

show examples

Children

Use synonyms

can learn some

neccessary

Correct your spelling

necessary

skills, but they suffer from serious problems. On the one hand, doing paid

work

Use synonyms

brings some major benefits for

children

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, being employed helps kids understand the value of

money

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is a vital lesson to learn as it teaches them not to waste

money

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

, working is advantageous because

children

Use synonyms

take

first

Correct article usage

the first

show examples

steps in learning

money

Use synonyms

management. As for me, now I have a

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

job, so I have a small amount of

money

Use synonyms

. I always think of how to spend it properly and how to save it. In short, understanding the value of

money

Use synonyms

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

Use synonyms

management

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

nessessary

Correct your spelling

necessary

for

children

Use synonyms

to develop into self-supporting adults

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

ready the society and

work

Use synonyms

force

Correct your spelling

workforce

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, doing paid

work

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

causes some negative aspects for

children

Use synonyms

. One problem when

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

have a job is that the

time

Use synonyms

that they spend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

working prevents them from focusing on studying. In fact, when kids study and

work

Use synonyms

at the same

time

Use synonyms

, they do not have enough

time

Use synonyms

for

school

Correct your spelling

schoolwork

show examples

work

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

, they may have poor academic performance which can be harmful in the long run because a good education is the key to a successful future. Another issue of working at a very young age is that it

expose

Change the verb form

exposes

show examples

children

Use synonyms

explotation

Correct your spelling

exploitation

. Many countries do not enforce

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

employment laws, so kids may

work

Use synonyms

under extreme conditions and get negligible wages. Starting life in

this

Linking Words

way does not help them escape from poverty.

Thus

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

face serious

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

when working for

money

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

conclusion,

although

Linking Words

it is beneficial for

children

Use synonyms

to do paid

work

Use synonyms

, it is

also

Linking Words

can be harmful for

children

Use synonyms

Submitted by mizh.nguyen on Thu Jun 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language

Try to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of language skills.

coherence

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain coherence throughout the essay.

task

Provide more specific examples and elaborate on points to further support your arguments.

grammar

Work on correcting minor grammatical errors and typos to improve overall clarity.

task response

The essay presents both advantages and disadvantages of paid work for children, addressing the prompt effectively.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a well-rounded structure to the essay.

coherence

The ideas are generally clear and organized, making it easy to follow the writer's argument.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

305 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

beneficial
harmful
advantages
disadvantages
financial independence
responsibility
valuable skills
impact
education
exploitation
negative effects
social life

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local person when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some think that the government should increase the price for tourists to visit cultural and historical attractions in a country, but this essay will disagree because people are generally equal, whether they are foreign visitors or locals.
4
band
Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Online leasons are replaceed to transation teachers in the classroom. However, there are some drawbasks. Personally, I beveile that the benfits of distance learning surpass the drawbcaks of the development.
6
band
roads will be safer if cyclist pass exsam each year. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
In all monopolies, roads will be more secure if vehicle users pass the driving tests each year. Although it will be supportable, it is more effective if there are special areas for vehicle drivers.
6
band
Some people believe older employees are more useful to a company. Others believe that younger employees are more useful in modern world. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Staff is a backbone of an entire company, and there is a dispute over whether younger or older employees are more beneficial to an organization. Even though young staff have more contemporary knowledge and fewer health issues, I advocate for older generation, because they are more experienced so will not make the repeated mistakes; plus, are able to guide new members.
7.5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people claim that highly skilled workers should work in the nation they completed their education, while others believe that they have to be allowed to work in any parts of the world to their liking. Although it is fair for governments to make professionals work in their countries, I believe that they should be given the right to work elsewhere, because they can improve their standards of life.

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children doing paid work?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local person when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

roads will be safer if cyclist pass exsam each year. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe older employees are more useful to a company. Others believe that younger employees are more useful in modern world. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.