Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children doing paid work?
Although
some people suppose that it is advantageous for children
to have paid work
, others believe that can be dangerous for youngers
. Correct your spelling
youngsters
Children
can learn some neccessary
skills, but they suffer from serious problems. On the one hand, doing paid Correct your spelling
necessary
work
brings some major benefits for children
. Firstly
, being employed helps kids understand the value of money
. This
is a vital lesson to learn as it teaches them not to waste money
. Secondly
, working is advantageous because children
take first
steps in learning Correct article usage
the first
money
management. As for me, now I have a part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
job, so I have a small amount of money
. I always think of how to spend it properly and how to save it. In short, understanding the value of money
and the
Correct article usage
apply
money
management skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
are
Change the verb form
is
nessessary
for Correct your spelling
necessary
children
to develop into self-supporting adults and
ready the society and Correct word choice
apply
work
force
.
Correct your spelling
workforce
On the other hand
, doing paid work
also
causes some negative aspects for children
. One problem when youngster
have a job is that the Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
time
that they spend on
working prevents them from focusing on studying. In fact, when kids study and Change preposition
apply
work
at the same time
, they do not have enough time
for school
Correct your spelling
schoolwork
work
. As a result
, they may have poor academic performance which can be harmful in the long run because a good education is the key to a successful future. Another issue of working at a very young age is that it expose
Change the verb form
exposes
children
to explotation
. Many countries do not enforce Correct your spelling
exploitation
children
employment laws, so kids may Change noun form
children's
work
under extreme conditions and get negligible wages. Starting life in this
way does not help them escape from poverty. Thus
, children
face serious problem
when working for Fix the agreement mistake
problems
money
. To
conclusion, Change preposition
In
although
it is beneficial for children
to do paid work
, it is also
can be harmful for children
.Submitted by mizh.nguyen on
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language
Try to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of language skills.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain coherence throughout the essay.
task
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on points to further support your arguments.
grammar
Work on correcting minor grammatical errors and typos to improve overall clarity.
task response
The essay presents both advantages and disadvantages of paid work for children, addressing the prompt effectively.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a well-rounded structure to the essay.
coherence
The ideas are generally clear and organized, making it easy to follow the writer's argument.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion