IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Countries should produce enough food for their own population and import as little as possible. Do you agree or disagree with this statemen

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No one can deny that
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is the most crucial thing in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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human life
to live
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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. I believe that
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 must put the production of their
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in its top priority and minimize the importing as little as possible. In the next paragraphs, I will discuss my opinion regarding the importance of being independent and the drawbacks of
over importation
Add a hyphen
over-importation

It seems that over importation is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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. It is very important to consider that producing your own
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 will usually save you a lot of money
specially
Replace the word
especially

The word specially may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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 if you are a developing country. Because it will not cost you any expensive transportations
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as planes or ships that demand lots of cash.
In
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

addition
Add a comma
addition,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In addition. Consider adding a comma.

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 it will rescue the country from being in
dept
Correct your spelling
debt

The word dept doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a survey
was
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb was appears to be unnecessary here.

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made 6 years ago stated that more than 10 developing African
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 have been in severe debt
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 their ignoring for production
their
Change preposition
of their

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 own
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and fully relying on importing basics like wheat and rice. Contrasting to that, if these had cared about
to be
Change the verb form
being

To be doesn’t seem to work here.

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 independent, they would not have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb been appears to be unnecessary here.

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fallen in that massacre. Focusing on the importing part, I see that despite being beneficial in introducing hard currency to the country, it is more likely will lead it to export
their
Correct pronoun usage
its

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 needs in the end
as well
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
Correct word choice
and

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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 a huge disturbance in
their finance
Fix the agreement mistake
its finances

It seems that their finance may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 will tend to happen. To illustrate, an article on BBC, regarding Egyptian finance, was written
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 year demonstrated that the price of imported wheat to
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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foreign
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 was cheaper than the price that was put locally just for the sake of the hard currency. If these limit their import and rely on their own production, many problems will be minimized, and they can manage it in the future. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 importing may provide the
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 with essential currency. I would argue that producing your own
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 not only will outweigh the merits of the latter, but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 it will be
first
Change the article
the first

It appears that the phrase first step does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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 step towards
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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flourishment.

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task achievement
In the introduction, you might want to briefly outline the main points you will discuss. This will help to set clear expectations for the reader. Additionally, avoid overgeneralizations like 'No one can deny.'
task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced view by acknowledging the benefits of both production and importation. This will make your argument stronger and more nuanced.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically structured, consider using transitional phrases to make the flow between paragraphs smoother. For example, you could use 'Moreover' instead of 'because' at the beginning of your first body paragraph to add clarity.
coherence cohesion
Double-check your use of articles and prepositions for grammatical accuracy. For instance, 'in debt' should be 'in debt', and 'ignoring for production' should be 'ignoring the production'.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic well and maintains a focus on the importance of food self-sufficiency for countries.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the survey of African countries and the article about Egypt, are effective and relevant to the points being made.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame the overall argument.
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