Countries should produce enough food for their own population and import as little as possible. Do you agree or disagree with this statemen
No one can deny that
the
Correct article usage
apply
food
is the most crucial thing in the
human lifeCorrect article usage
apply
to live
. I believe that Verb problem
apply
countries
must put the production of their food
in its top priority and minimize the importing as little as possible. In the next paragraphs, I will discuss my opinion regarding the importance of being independent and the drawbacks of over importation
.
It is very important to consider that producing your own Add a hyphen
over-importation
food
will usually save you a lot of money specially
if you are a developing country. Because it will not cost you any expensive transportations Replace the word
especially
such
as planes or ships that demand lots of cash. In
addition
it will rescue the country from being in Add a comma
addition,
dept
. Correct your spelling
debt
for instance
, a survey was
made 6 years ago stated that more than 10 developing African Unnecessary verb
apply
countries
have been in severe debt due to
their ignoring for production their
own Change preposition
of their
food
and fully relying on importing basics like wheat and rice. Contrasting to that, if these had cared about to be
independent, they would not have Change the verb form
being
been
fallen in that massacre.
Focusing on the importing part, I see that despite being beneficial in introducing hard currency to the country, it is more likely will lead it to export Unnecessary verb
apply
their
needs in the end Correct pronoun usage
its
as well
as
a huge disturbance in Correct word choice
and
their finance
will tend to happen. To illustrate, an article on BBC, regarding Egyptian finance, was written Fix the agreement mistake
its finances
last
year demonstrated that the price of imported wheat to the
foreign Correct article usage
apply
countries
was cheaper than the price that was put locally just for the sake of the hard currency. If these limit their import and rely on their own production, many problems will be minimized, and they can manage it in the future.
In conclusion, although
importing may provide the countries
with essential currency. I would argue that producing your own food
not only will outweigh the merits of the latter, but also
it will be first
step towards Change the article
the first
the
flourishment.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by besoyam on
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task achievement
In the introduction, you might want to briefly outline the main points you will discuss. This will help to set clear expectations for the reader. Additionally, avoid overgeneralizations like 'No one can deny.'
task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced view by acknowledging the benefits of both production and importation. This will make your argument stronger and more nuanced.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically structured, consider using transitional phrases to make the flow between paragraphs smoother. For example, you could use 'Moreover' instead of 'because' at the beginning of your first body paragraph to add clarity.
coherence cohesion
Double-check your use of articles and prepositions for grammatical accuracy. For instance, 'in debt' should be 'in debt', and 'ignoring for production' should be 'ignoring the production'.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic well and maintains a focus on the importance of food self-sufficiency for countries.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the survey of African countries and the article about Egypt, are effective and relevant to the points being made.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame the overall argument.
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