"Some people believe that technological advancements have improved our lives significantly, while others argue that technology has brought more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion."

#people #advancements #lives #technology

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Technological advancements have brought significant changes to our lives, leading to a debate on whether these changes are beneficial or problematic. In my opinion, advanced technologies have made life more convenient and efficient, but they

also

pose risks,

such

as potential personal

information

leaks.

This

creates a dilemma for

people

on how to handle

technology

. First and foremost, technological improvements have rapidly accelerated since the Industrial Revolution. Our lifestyles have gradually adapted to these technologies.

For example

, we now travel by

vehicles

Fix the agreement mistake

vehicle

show examples

instead

of animal-drawn carts, saving time on journeys.

Moreover

, the invention of the smartphone by Steve Jobs revolutionized communication, allowing

information

to be delivered efficiently. Most

people

benefit from these technological advancements.

On the other hand

, some

people

argue that

technology

has brought more problems than benefits, and their concerns are reasonable. The abundance of

information

due to

high

technology

has led

people

to prefer watching short videos on smartphones rather than reading books.

This

shift makes them lazy to think critically and overly reliant on

technology

Additionally

, personal

information

can be easily collected through the Internet, posing security risks and opportunities for fraud. In conclusion, though advanced

technology

is undoubtedly a useful tool, it can

also

be a source of trouble. Proper management of

technology

is crucial for it to remain beneficial.

Otherwise

, it can become a harmful force that negatively impacts our lives.

Therefore

, we must address

this

issue seriously and strive to balance the benefits and risks of technological advancements.

Submitted by aa0963178783 on Thu Jun 20 2024

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task achievement

Consider including more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.

task achievement

The essay provides a well-structured discussion of both sides of the topic, which demonstrates a clear understanding of the prompt.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and effective, framing the essay nicely and summarizing the discussion well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

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"Some people believe that technological advancements have improved our lives significantly, while others argue that technology has brought more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion."

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Some people think that a car is the best way to travel in cities while others believe a bicycle is a better way to commute. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. Do you agree or disagree?