Many people think cheap air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people freedom to travel further. However, others think this leads to environmental problems, so air travel should be more expensive in order to discourage people from having it. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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In the modern
world
, travelling has become easier by flying.
While
some people believe
this
is the most convenient way to explore the
world
and budget
airlines
make prices so affordable for the middle class, others oppose that boarding air transportation creates environmental unsustainability,
hence
,
airlines
should raise their prices, so travellers have second thoughts when purchasing tickets.
This
essay will discuss the abovementioned matters before presenting my agreement on the former. On the one hand,
planes
are the most essential and time-effective way for holiday-takers to travel to their designed destinations. As
airlines
are competing with their rivals in terms of sales,
this
directly benefits plane-takers. It provides more opportunities for people to travel around the globe.
Furthermore
, we live in a fast-paced era, where technology develops daily. Engineers all over the
world
are working together to apply aerodynamics and create more sustainable aeroplanes so they can emit less carbon dioxide. Research from the University of Sydney states that 90% of travellers come to and exit Australia via aircraft as it is quite isolated from the
world
,
hence
, it is vital to have a large amount of jets arriving and departing the country.
On the other hand
, the environment is certainly a matter that should be considered, when it comes to tourism.
This
,
in particular
, travelling by flight.
Planes
are liable for a huge number of CO2 emissions every year,
thus
, it makes sense that authorities
Add a missing verb
are concern
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
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about its negative effects. When it comes to travelling domestically, individuals should be encouraged to take alternative options rather than
planes
.
Hence
, airline companies should increase their fares for gatekeeping purposes so locals opt for another option.
In particular
, the driving duration is about 3 hours from Sydney to Canberra. There are direct flights between these 2 destinations, which is about 45 minutes. In
this
case,
airlines
should make tickets more expensive so travellers can take roads
instead
of
planes
. In conclusion,
planes
play an important part in everyone’s life, whether it is travelling for holidays or work.
While
number of plane-takers cannot be reduced, governments and private organisations should work together to balance
this
issue and aim for sustainability.
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clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that ideas are more fully developed in each paragraph. Some points, though mentioned, lack depth and clarity. Expand on arguments for a stronger case.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to make your arguments more compelling. Try to use data or anecdotal evidence to support your points better.
logical structure
Though your essay has a good structure, refining the logical flow between sentences would make it more seamless. Pay attention to the connections between main points and subpoints.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to set the stage and wrap up the discussion effectively.
complete response
Your arguments touch on key aspects of the debate, showing a good understanding of both sides. The discussion is balanced and comprehensive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Democratic travel
  • Global diversity
  • Economic benefits
  • Service sector
  • Educational travel
  • International relationships
  • Carbon emissions
  • Global warming
  • Climate crisis
  • Overtourism
  • Infrastructure
  • Cultural heritage
  • Sustainable aviation
  • Carbon offset
  • Global inequality
  • Airline industry
  • Economic downturn
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