Some people think young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #education #work #car #mechanics #builders #society

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, some youngsters choose to engage in various jobs after senior high school

while

others decide to go

further

in their studies. Everyone opts for the plans that are suitable for them

according to

their circumstances. Some people think studying

further

at university is helpful for students' future.

For example

, many organizations offer higher remuneration and a better position to those who graduate from college. Learners in universities are able to acquire professional knowledge.

Moreover

, as everyone says, the

environment

of a university is like a small society, we not only learn things from textbooks but

also

absorb soft skills by interacting with other mates from different backgrounds. I feel that the noticeable advantage is sundry events, whether extracurricular courses, seminars, or performances. It is a terrific

environment

which exposes people to diversified stuff, whereby college students can broaden their horizons.

Conversely

, a group of adolescents is determined to go toward society and enter the workforce. They may be encouraged by parents, or friends to work as car mechanics or builders. Compared to other humans who enter the academic

environment

, humans who have a professional technique can earn a lot of money and

thus

, have a deposit as soon as possible, whereby they can take advantage of the finances to do whatever they are eager for.

Additionally

although

we can learn about interpersonal communication in both the academic

environment

and the workplace, interaction in the workplace is more authentic than on campus. In a nutshell, whether going on studies or entering the workplace, they have their own benefits, and as previously stated, people can choose appropriate options which are in favour of them, based on their inner or exterior factors.

Submitted by hayashidajinja820 on Fri Oct 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Develop ideas with more depth and include more specific examples to ensure all points are well supported.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to maintain the reader's understanding throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction provides a clear overview of the topic by presenting both sides of the argument.

coherence cohesion

Conclusion effectively summarizes the discussed points and reinforces the balanced view presented.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear response to the task by addressing both perspectives and providing a personal opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

higher education
vocational training
skillset
employment landscape
economic contributions
hands-on experience
critical thinking skills
practical knowledge
tuition fees
trade professions
essential workforce
academic qualifications

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
The increasing housing problem in big cities has social consequences. Some people say that only governments can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Owing to the rise in population and the polarization of people towards urban cities, there was a scarcity of houses in metropolises. To encounter this issue, some shortsighted people raised the argument that only the government can solve this problem.I'm of the opinion that people at an individual level and the government should work together to resolve this issue.
5.5
band
You are a student living in university accommodation. The heating has not worked for some time. Write a letter to the management. In your letter Explain why you complain; Describe the problems Tell what you want them to do
I am writing this letter to bring to your notice that heating system is not working properly in my room in university hostel.
4
band
The best way to solve the traffic and transportation problem is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs or countryside. What are the effects of rapid population growth in the city? How can the quality of life city dwellers be maintain?
The main problem that most of the big cities faced is congested, then solution to solved this is advice the citizens live on suburbs or rural area. In this essay, i will examine the effects that contribute towards population explosion in the city if this method applied and propose some recommendation to keep the life quality of the resident.
7
band
More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?
Animal extinction is becoming a major concern all over the world because it can damage biodiversity which in terms can cause a lot of unchangeable problems. Some of the animals are already extinct while some are on the verge of being extinct. This essay will discuss the reasons behind the extinction as well as possible solutions to it.
5.5
band
You are planning to go and study English at a school overseas.You would like some information about their courses.Write a letter to the school.In your letter Ask about the school Say what kind of accommodation you want Mention any special requests you have
I'm writing to ask for information about an English university.

Some people think young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The increasing housing problem in big cities has social consequences. Some people say that only governments can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You are a student living in university accommodation. The heating has not worked for some time. Write a letter to the management. In your letter Explain why you complain; Describe the problems Tell what you want them to do

The best way to solve the traffic and transportation problem is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs or countryside. What are the effects of rapid population growth in the city? How can the quality of life city dwellers be maintain?

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

You are planning to go and study English at a school overseas.You would like some information about their courses.Write a letter to the school.In your letter Ask about the school Say what kind of accommodation you want Mention any special requests you have