Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advanatges?
In light of the proliferation of technology, people are able to communicate worldwide, leading to cross-cultural interactions.
Therefore
, the disparities between countries are shortened, resulting in a trend of watching the same TV channel. Linking Words
Although
companies can promote their goods through Linking Words
this
tendency, Linking Words
this
writer contends that it may cause ethnocide and conflicts between countries.
There is no doubt that bridging the gap between nations provides opportunities for national brands to advertise. Specifically, by abbreviating the distance of countries, those companies can expand their marketplace easily and export products globally. It is evident that retailers can recognize the current trend of customers and fulfill their demand through Linking Words
overall
TV programs, Linking Words
therefore
, decreasing the excessive products to gain profit. Linking Words
For instance
, the BBC record has consistently shown that teenagers are more likely to gravitate toward luxury fashion brands, by comprehending Linking Words
this
, former companies could give suitable plans to satisfy Linking Words
this
.
Notwithstanding the aforementioned advantage, Linking Words
a
similar watching trends not only cause culture lossCorrect the article-noun agreement
apply
,
but on contrary Remove the comma
apply
also
create arguments among residents. If viewers depend on watching foreign shows, there will be fewer traditional channels and programs, causing a lack of interest in national culture. Linking Words
Consequently
, ethnocide is going to happen which may lead to the destruction of a country. Linking Words
Besides
that, it is vital to understand that each nation has different cultures causing several points of view, Linking Words
therefore
, conflicts are inevitable. Those arguments will make the friendship between states worse. Taking Vietnam and China as a prime example, despite previously existing arguments, residents there are still watching and have the same tendency, Linking Words
as a result
, more and more conflicts occur leading to bad foreign relations.
In conclusion, the benefit of promoting goods is eclipsed by the drawbacks of possible ethnocide and dissension among inhabitants. Linking Words
Thus
, TV Linking Words
channel
should not be observed worldwide.Fix the agreement mistake
channels
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General
The essay presents a clear position on the topic and provides relevant arguments to support the main points. However, there are some grammatical and structural issues that slightly hinder clarity. Working on these could greatly improve the overall quality.
Language Use
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'this writer contends that it may cause ethnocide' which would be better phrased as 'this essay argues that it could lead to cultural erosion'. Focusing on grammar refinement could boost your score.
Content Development
Ensure all points are equally developed and examples provided are specific and well-explained. The BBC example, while relevant, could be expanded to fully illustrate the point. Balancing all arguments with appropriate examples will enhance strength and clarity.
Structure
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
Content Balance
The writer addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing an ability to view and analyze both sides of the argument.
Tone
The essay maintains a formal tone, appropriate for an IELTS task, which enhances its credibility.
Your opinion
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