Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advanatges?

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In light of the proliferation of technology, people are able to communicate worldwide, leading to cross-cultural interactions.

Therefore

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, the disparities between countries are shortened, resulting in a trend of watching the same TV channel.

Although

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companies can promote their goods through

this

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tendency,

this

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writer contends that it may cause ethnocide and conflicts between countries. There is no doubt that bridging the gap between nations provides opportunities for national brands to advertise. Specifically, by abbreviating the distance of countries, those companies can expand their marketplace easily and export products globally. It is evident that retailers can recognize the current trend of customers and fulfill their demand through

overall

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TV programs,

therefore

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, decreasing the excessive products to gain profit.

For instance

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, the BBC record has consistently shown that teenagers are more likely to gravitate toward luxury fashion brands, by comprehending

this

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, former companies could give suitable plans to satisfy

this

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. Notwithstanding the aforementioned advantage,

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

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similar watching trends not only cause culture loss

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but on contrary

also

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create arguments among residents. If viewers depend on watching foreign shows, there will be fewer traditional channels and programs, causing a lack of interest in national culture.

Consequently

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, ethnocide is going to happen which may lead to the destruction of a country.

Besides

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that, it is vital to understand that each nation has different cultures causing several points of view,

therefore

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, conflicts are inevitable. Those arguments will make the friendship between states worse. Taking Vietnam and China as a prime example, despite previously existing arguments, residents there are still watching and have the same tendency,

as a result

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, more and more conflicts occur leading to bad foreign relations. In conclusion, the benefit of promoting goods is eclipsed by the drawbacks of possible ethnocide and dissension among inhabitants.

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, TV

channel

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channels

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should not be observed worldwide.

Thu May 30 2024

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General

The essay presents a clear position on the topic and provides relevant arguments to support the main points. However, there are some grammatical and structural issues that slightly hinder clarity. Working on these could greatly improve the overall quality.

Language Use

There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'this writer contends that it may cause ethnocide' which would be better phrased as 'this essay argues that it could lead to cultural erosion'. Focusing on grammar refinement could boost your score.

Content Development

Ensure all points are equally developed and examples provided are specific and well-explained. The BBC example, while relevant, could be expanded to fully illustrate the point. Balancing all arguments with appropriate examples will enhance strength and clarity.

Structure

The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.

Content Balance

The writer addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing an ability to view and analyze both sides of the argument.

Tone

The essay maintains a formal tone, appropriate for an IELTS task, which enhances its credibility.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Globalization
Homogenization
Cultural diversity
Multinational companies
Local economy
Cultural exchange
Insights
Empathy
Innovation
Information inequality
Western culture
Dominance
Artistic expression
Representation

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Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advanatges?

Your opinion

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones nowadays has unwanted effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter when you borrow car from neighbour for a day

some people say that the environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others think that actions can be taken to bring the change. Discuss both views and give your opnion.