Some people think the the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, instead of benefiting them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some believe that the main goal of schools is to nurture kids as citizens and workers, taking benefits from them as individuals
instead
.
Although
children are educated well or
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have good academic achievements for their work or studies, young people choose to live
in
Change preposition
apply
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a stable and boring
life
, since they want to be good workers in society. On the one hand, choosing a
life
that is
all about only going to work and spending the whole
time
as an employee somewhere is just meaningless and boring, because human beings naturally have many curiosities for some activities or hobbies, and everyone has their own missions in the entire
life
. To be more clear, studying in schools and colleges for many years to get a job somewhere,
then
going to work six days a week, having only one day off, and paying back credits to the bank for ten or fifteen years is terrifying,
then
people could not manage
time
for relaxing or improving as a free person by taking
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
and sharing experiences in a whole lifetime.
As a consequence
, that kind of stable lifetime might cause self-regret, if they cannot achieve anything, and only try to make money.
On the other hand
, being all teenagers educated, and spending their
time
learning and studying could be a true way,
instead
of wasting
time
in a sedentary
life
or committing crimes in adolescence period.
For instance
, a youngster steals something or is addicted to video games, since he or she does not have a good lifestyle like not learning languages or skills.
As a result
, it is good that spending years in education might be correct, because of having possibility that children could be specialists or scientists in their majors or professions.
To sum up
, I agree with the statement that schools' main aim is to create good and skilled employees and citizens in society.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
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Provide more specific examples to support your points. Instead of general statements, give concrete instances or evidence to strengthen your arguments.
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Avoid repetition in your arguments. Ensure that each paragraph presents a unique point or perspective that adds value to the overall argument.
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Your essay addresses the prompt and gives a balanced view on the topic. You've effectively discussed both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effectively frame the essay.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • citizenship
  • workforce readiness
  • individual development
  • talents and passions
  • responsible citizens
  • emotional intelligence
  • personal well-being
  • personal growth
  • functioning democracy
  • mental health
  • personal happiness
  • dual role
  • neglect
  • engaged citizens
  • nurturing
  • balance
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