Many people realize that people living in the 21st century generally have a better quality of lives than people born in earlier centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

With advanced technology,

today

Change noun form

today's

show examples

society leads

life

Use synonyms

with many advantages compared to older ages. In my opinion, despite there are many positive things the world offers, there are still significant downsides that can’t be ignored as the consequences of gained benefits. On one hand, the 21st century has witnessed the outstanding development of the healthcare industry. The

life

Use synonyms

span of humans has extended from many breakthroughs in medical science.

For instance

Linking Words

, the average

life

Use synonyms

span of a Vietnamese only was 30-40 years old in the 18th century,

while

Linking Words

it is 70-80 for

today

Change noun form

today's

show examples

population.

Additionally

Linking Words

, technology allows us to have access to various knowledge, connect to people around the globe, and is conveniently fast for us to spend less time in certain aspects,

such

Linking Words

as online banking, communicating, etc.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the convenience of

this

Linking Words

age brings us numerous disadvantages. Humans get used to the fact that they can have anything just by the verge of their fingertips, and it takes away the excitement,

as well as

Linking Words

the motivation, and the patience to wait, which can lead to serious mental issues,

for example

Linking Words

, depression and anxiety. Out of 4 Americans, there is at least one who has to deal with mental illness.

Besides

Linking Words

that, unlimited and easy access to unhealthy food can cause obesity, which is a common disease for the population. In conclusion, I partly agree with the statement “People live a better quality

life

Use synonyms

than in the past decades”, but there are

also

Linking Words

drawbacks as the consequence of the advantages of what we earn.

aksoysanaThu Jun 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction and conclusion

Expand on the conclusion to leave a stronger final impression. Consider summarizing the main points briefly before restating your stance.

logical structure

Some sentences could be more concise, and minor grammatical errors could be corrected. For example, 'despite there are many positive things' should be 'despite the many positive things'. Additionally, 'today population' should be 'today's population'.

supported main points and ideas

While you provided relevant examples such as improvements in the healthcare industry, adding more specific statistics and studies could make your points stronger. For instance, mentioning specific technologies or treatments that have extended lifespans could provide more weight to your argument.

complete response and supported ideas

The essay covers both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced view. This is commendable as it shows critical thinking.

logical structure and cohesion

Well-structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences, making it easy to follow the flow of ideas.

relevant examples

You have provided relevant examples like the life span comparison and the prevalence of mental health issues in America, which are effective in supporting your points.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
These days in many nations, the number of elderly people has risen more than ever before and this happening has made concerns about how these people can be beneficial or more of a problem for government. In this passage I am going to discuss why its disadvantages outweigh the benefits.
7
band
Nowadays many students live with their familes while others go to another city to study at a university. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of both scenarios. Include relevant examples in your answer.
In recent years,leaving families to go to another city for the purpose of academic achievement has become increasingly popular.While, this trend offers numerous benefits,such as better job opportunities and a secure future, it also presents challenges like being alone and living far from their families.
7.5
band
Many young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating high school. What do you think are the reasons? What come be done to teach them this important skill?
In modern society, a growing number of graduates leave schools without adequate education of finances as they do not know how to navigate financial problems . This financial illiteracy is primarily associated with a lack of both hands-on and theoretical knowledge in schools as well as first-hand information about finance . However , satisfactory education and proper parenting style could tackle this problem .
7
band
Some people believe that countries should produce the food to feed their population themselves and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is widely argued that it is imperative for a country to manufacture and provide food to its people and buy as minimum products related to food as possible. In my view, I strongly agree with this point of view, since food is considered a source of living and reduces the dependency on brand products
4.5
band
What are the causes and/ or effects of living in a big city?
Nowadays, there are many causes why most people want to live in big cities.

Many people realize that people living in the 21st century generally have a better quality of lives than people born in earlier centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

Nowadays many students live with their familes while others go to another city to study at a university. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of both scenarios. Include relevant examples in your answer.

Many young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating high school. What do you think are the reasons? What come be done to teach them this important skill?

Some people believe that countries should produce the food to feed their population themselves and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

What are the causes and/ or effects of living in a big city?