It is often thought that an increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. To what extent do you agree or disasgree ?

It is often said that violence in the media relates to an increase in youth crime.
writer agrees with
statement because the various kinds of violent news are hard to control and it is hard to release how they affect people. It must be understood that with the improving technology, publishing from anywhere in the world can be easily consumed.
For example
, we can see the NBA, the competition of basketball in America, in another continent, Asia, which is very far from it.
, even though there is still useful information, we can not avoid interacting with bad knowledge.
In addition
, teenagers have a lot of free time and using social media or other kinds of entertainment,
as watching films or listening to music, is one of the most impressive ways to waste that time. Another point to take into consideration is the method of effect's radio, which is really hard to release. As more time young people spend, as less communication they are.
According to
some research on prisons, young crime was autism,
there were always some people ready to help them, their parents, and friends,... They rejected all of them and did not release that they were affected by the publishing.
, teenagers are not mature enough to escape from
situation. In conclusion, the large amount of television affects various aspects to create a young atrocity. That's why, violence in media is one of the main reasons for to increase in the rate of young breaches.
Submitted by    on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit significantly from a clearer and more structured argument. Consider starting with a brief introduction where you clearly state your position on the topic. Then, organize your body paragraphs around clear, specific arguments that support your thesis. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that summarizes its main idea.
task achievement
Try to support your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. General statements can be powerful, but they are much more convincing when backed up by specific, real-world examples or statistics. This will also help your essay meet the task requirements more fully.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for grammatical errors and ensure that your sentences are complete and your ideas clearly expressed. Errors in grammar can distract from your argument and make your essay harder to follow.
task achievement
Make sure to address the prompt directly in your essay. While you agree with the statement, offering a broader range of arguments and considering counterarguments could provide a more complete response to the question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion: you agree or disagree? you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • juvenile delinquency
  • media desensitization
  • aggression
  • parental supervision
  • media consumption
  • critical media literacy
  • socio-economic conditions
  • family environment
  • psychological issues
  • international comparisons
What to do next:
Look at other essays: