It is often thought that an increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. To what extent do you agree or disasgree ?
It is often said that violence in the media relates to an increase in youth crime.
This
writer agrees with Linking Words
this
statement because the various kinds of violent news are hard to control and it is hard to release how they affect people.
It must be understood that with the improving technology, publishing from anywhere in the world can be easily consumed. Linking Words
For example
, we can see the NBA, the competition of basketball in America, in another continent, Asia, which is very far from it. Linking Words
Therefore
, even though there is still useful information, we can not avoid interacting with bad knowledge. Linking Words
In addition
, teenagers have a lot of free time and using social media or other kinds of entertainment, Linking Words
such
as watching films or listening to music, is one of the most impressive ways to waste that time.
Another point to take into consideration is the method of effect's radio, which is really hard to release. As more time young people spend, as less communication they are. Linking Words
According to
some research on prisons, young crime was autism, Linking Words
although
there were always some people ready to help them, their parents, and friends,... They rejected all of them and did not release that they were affected by the publishing. Linking Words
Furthermore
, teenagers are not mature enough to escape from Linking Words
this
situation.
In conclusion, the large amount of television affects various aspects to create a young atrocity. That's why, violence in media is one of the main reasons for to increase in the rate of young breaches.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit significantly from a clearer and more structured argument. Consider starting with a brief introduction where you clearly state your position on the topic. Then, organize your body paragraphs around clear, specific arguments that support your thesis. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that summarizes its main idea.
task achievement
Try to support your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. General statements can be powerful, but they are much more convincing when backed up by specific, real-world examples or statistics. This will also help your essay meet the task requirements more fully.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for grammatical errors and ensure that your sentences are complete and your ideas clearly expressed. Errors in grammar can distract from your argument and make your essay harder to follow.
task achievement
Make sure to address the prompt directly in your essay. While you agree with the statement, offering a broader range of arguments and considering counterarguments could provide a more complete response to the question.
Your opinion
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?