Studies have shown that many young children worry about their appearance What are the reasons for this? What might best be done to reduce the problems?
Research has indicated that many young generations experience concerns regarding their physical appearance. Perhaps social
media
influence and cultural norms are the main reason for this
issue yet it can be alleviated by boosting self-esteem and media
literacy education.
One of the root causes is how social networking platforms influence young people’s beauty models. The influencers or to be more specific are the advertising models that have been contributing to our definition of beauty through cosmetic advertisements. Online abuse will and will be increasing persistently with more and more victims. A survey in February 2022 revealed that one in five social media
users claimed they were being abused because of their appearance. Henceforth, body shaming which defines the action or practice of mocking or stigmatizing someone by making critical comments about the outlook of their body has been created.
Nevertheless
, an action that can be taken to limit adolescence’s worry is education. In other words
, children need to be taught to evaluate critically media
messages and recognize that many images are manipulated. Combining this
with promoting media
to showcase diverse body types, ethnicities, and abilities can partially mitigate the adverse effects of the issue. Another solution to bear in mind is to build self-esteem. For instance
, confidence may improve your mental health against criticism notwithstanding who you are.
In essence, the impact of social networking platforms causes this
problem and can be reduced by educating and building self-assurance. Granted that this
trouble may not be eliminated, striving to reduce it to the minimum is better than not tryingSubmitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Ensure that every main point is clearly supported by specific examples or evidence. For instance, the mention of social media's impact could be supported with specific studies or statistics about how young people perceive beauty on these platforms.
task achievement
Further elaborate on some ideas to ensure they are comprehensively explored. For example, the point about building self-esteem could include specific methods or programs that have been effective in boosting confidence among children.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring a smooth transition between some of the ideas. The shift from discussing social media influence to solutions could be smoother. Consider using transitional phrases to better connect these sections.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor grammatical errors and improve vocabulary variety to enhance the overall readability. For example, "an action that can be taken" could be rephrased to "One effective measure that can be implemented."
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the main points that will be discussed, providing a good roadmap for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the importance of addressing the problem, giving a satisfying sense of closure.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument from causes to potential solutions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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