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Band 6.5

Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#city #life #countryside
It is widely advocated that individuals who reside in urban areas could gain more opportunities compared to rural ones. I totally disagree with the statement because of a variety of motives.
To begin
 with, there appears to be a wide range of benefits of populating in the countryside. One of the main factors could be that it is situated close to nature, which
accordingly
 provides residents with crystal-clean air. What is more, a plethora of produce is cultivated locally, thereby making a profit for local
people
 financially. Case in point,
people
 who live in China or Uzbekistan grow rice as farming, by which they receive a huge amount of income.
On the other hand
, it is commonly argued that city
life
 creates more opportunities , especially for young
people
 to build up their future careers.
This
 might be
due to
 the fact that many outlets,
as well as
 businesses, are located in the city centres, by which
people
 earn many profits to sustain a better
life
 to live.
Although
 city
life
 is likely to lead to a profitable lifestyle, I am of the view that it cannot provide a sustainable one. Naturally, the urbanization process is expanding dramatically around the world;
nonetheless
, it could give rise to some health-related issues.
For instance
, within cities, the volume of private cars is high,
by
Change preposition
apply
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which
Correct word choice
and
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 the quality of air tends to be contaminated.
As a consequence
, the condition sparks diseases like viral infections or hypertension. Taking everything into account, even though living in civic areas is said to be appropriate for a better
life
, I am convinced that the countryside can be indispensable for
people
 to dwell on in every aspect of
life
.
Submitted by a_zamjonov99 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples to support your points. This could help to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. This can be achieved by using a variety of linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the structure of your essay. This helps the reader know what to expect and makes your argumentation clearer.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand the overall argument of the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, which makes your arguments easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • infrastructure
  • cosmopolitan
  • commute
  • sociocultural
  • prosperity
  • sustainability
  • rural
  • tranquility
  • urbanization
  • relocation
  • residential
  • populace
  • ecological footprint
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