Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are equally responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#children #lifestyle #schools #parents

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Nowadays numerous

children

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develop a lifestyle

that is

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not healthy.

Although

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I think that the teacher

also

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has to encourage

children

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to live healthier lives, I mostly believe that

parents

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are more responsible in

this

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regard. Teachers are less likely to help

children

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to have relatively healthier lives.

However

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, they can contribute to

this

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process to some extent through valuable lessons.

For instance

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, I remember when I was in primary school, we used to learn about the ideal daily routine and eating

habits

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from textbooks with pictures. I used to get inspired by those lessons and started to implement healthy

habits

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in my life,

such

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as sleeping and waking up early, doing exercises, eating my meals on

time

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, and so on.

As a consequence

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, teachers can be quite helpful in tackling

this

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issue.

Nevertheless

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, it is undeniable that

parents

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take more responsibility in

this

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matter. Because

children

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spend most of their

time

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at home since they were born.

Children

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’s upbringing shapes the way of living they own. Some

parents

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try to create healthy daily routines for their

children

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by paying attention to their eating, sleeping

habits

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, and physical health.

For example

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, thanks to my

parents

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we always ate our meals on

time

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, consumed a lot of fruits and vegetables, and went to bed on

time

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Due to

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this

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fact we still mostly stick to these

habits

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. In conclusion,

while

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teachers can be a crucial factor in solving

this

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problem, I would argue that

parents

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have more responsibility to bring up

children

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with better medical conditions.

Submitted by Narmin on Thu Jun 20 2024

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task achievement

Try to further develop your main points with more detailed examples and evidence. This will help in clearly conveying your arguments and provide a more comprehensive response.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next for a more cohesive and structured essay. You can use more transitional phrases to achieve this.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.

task achievement

Relevant specific examples are used to illustrate your main points, adding depth to your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

unhealthy lifestyle
growing concern
crucial role
addressing this issue
promote healthy habits
educational programs
physical activities
establish healthy routines
nutritious meals
collaboration

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Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are equally responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a things of the part. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some argue that patriotism is the primary cause of wars globally. Others feel that it serves to prevent less ethical politicians from running a country and starting wars. Discuss both views and give your opinion.