At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, in most

nations

Add a comma

nations,

show examples

there are a higher population of young people in comparison with the elderly.

While

Linking Words

there are some drawbacks associated with having with young population, I believe the main benefits are more substantial. On the one hand, a potential disadvantage of having a vast number of young

individuals

Use synonyms

in a society may be not having sufficient experience to undertake important responsibilities. Each country needs to have experienced

individuals

Use synonyms

to achieve great success.

For instance

Linking Words

, developed countries

such

Linking Words

as China and the USA are managed by older people with higher knowledge who can have

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

attitude towards the country’s problems.

As a result

Linking Words

, having physical stamina is not the only factor

to run

Change preposition

in running

show examples

a country.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are some factors to prove that a youthful society is more successful in relation to many aspects. From an educational perspective, academic education is a decisive factor in society’s success.

For example

Linking Words

, there are a lot of young scientists and founders who could change the world like Elon Musk, and Maryam Mirza Khani.

Furthermore

Linking Words

individuals

Use synonyms

are able to search on other planets or make new and modern buildings with more information in mathematics.

Also

Linking Words

, young people are more able to protect the generation with expanded descendants.

For instance

Linking Words

, research findings confirm that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

young

individuals

Use synonyms

are able to have more healthy children compared with the elderly. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the elderly have some duties in each nation without the young generation society finds it difficult to develop.

Thus

Linking Words

younger play a vital role in the area’s success.

www.marzieh.eidiThu Jun 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph sticks to one main idea and fully develops it, potentially with a clearer topic sentence.

task achievement

Polish your examples to make them more specific and directly relevant to the points being made. This will strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Work on sentence variety and avoiding repetition to make your essay more engaging and polished.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and states your opinion.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your opinion.

task achievement

You have provided relevant reasons and examples to support your opinion, which strengthens your argument overall.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

demographic composition
economic dynamism
dependency ratio
social services
pension systems
technological adeptness
innovative workforce
national savings
educational demand
employment opportunities
crime rates
economic disparity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Petrol prices should be increased to reduce traffic congestion. Agree or disagree
It is argued that the most effective way to curb traffic is to raise the price of gas. This essay agrees that an increased levy on petrol could help in the reduction of traffic jams. Firstly, traffic jams are caused by commuters travelling to work; secondly, public transport could be used as an alternative to cars.
7
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Many younglings spend hours each day on their mobile phones. The main reason behind this case is the addictive nature of smartphone applications. I believe that this is a huge negative development for children because they become unsocial individuals which may affect their happiness.
7
band
In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In many countries, private healthcare is the norm whereas in others it is provided by the government free of charge. Many people think that the latter should be adopted across the world. I would agree with this sentiment and would argue that universal access to healthcare should be seen as a human right.
6.5
band
Today many people decide to have children later in life. What are the causes? What effects may it bring?
Today many people decide to have children later in life. What are the causes? What effects may it bring?
6.5
band
F. Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Yes, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in providing technology companies with personal data in exchange for access to services of online software because people benefit from various services available online and the risk of leaking personal information is quite rare.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Petrol prices should be increased to reduce traffic congestion. Agree or disagree

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today many people decide to have children later in life. What are the causes? What effects may it bring?

F. Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?