At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, in most
nations
there are a higher population of young people in comparison with the elderly. Add a comma
nations,
While
there are some drawbacks associated with having with young population, I believe the main benefits are more substantial.
On the one hand, a potential disadvantage of having a vast number of young individuals
in a society may be not having sufficient experience to undertake important responsibilities. Each country needs to have experienced individuals
to achieve great success. For instance
, developed countries such
as China and the USA are managed by older people with higher knowledge who can have positive
attitude towards the country’s problems. Add an article
a positive
As a result
, having physical stamina is not the only factor to run
a country.
Change preposition
in running
On the other hand
, there are some factors to prove that a youthful society is more successful in relation to many aspects. From an educational perspective, academic education is a decisive factor in society’s success. For example
, there are a lot of young scientists and founders who could change the world like Elon Musk, and Maryam Mirza Khani. Furthermore
, individuals
are able to search on other planets or make new and modern buildings with more information in mathematics. Also
, young people are more able to protect the generation with expanded descendants. For instance
, research findings confirm that,
young Remove the comma
apply
individuals
are able to have more healthy children compared with the elderly.
In conclusion, although
the elderly have some duties in each nation without the young generation society finds it difficult to develop. Thus
younger play a vital role in the area’s success.Submitted by www.marzieh.eidi on
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and states your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your opinion.
task achievement
You have provided relevant reasons and examples to support your opinion, which strengthens your argument overall.