In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of the previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In the contemporary world, the way
children
live and eat has totally changed. Some people consider
this
a problem that has a negative effect on
children
’s general health. I totally agree with
this
notion.
While
there are limited advantages in today's
children
's lifestyle, the drawbacks outweigh its benefits. First of all, nowadays, many
children
suffer from obesity. The research showed that in today’s world, many
children
tend to consume fast foods,
while
in the previous generations, fast foods were not so popular among
children
, especially students.
While
these types of food are high calorie,
children
should be more active than their past generation peers;
however
, it is the opposite;
children
before have the ability to play 3 to 5 sports,
while
these days,
children
can how to play zero to one sport.
Secondly
, unfortunately,
children
’s lifestyles have totally changed
due to
the rapid growth of technology and overpopulation.
For instance
, in the old days,
children
lived in the countryside; nowadays, many
children
live in urban areas. By looking at the research, we could infer that many diseases related to the brain, like mental illness and depression, are
coupled with
living in the city. Another notion about the
children
's lifestyle worth mentioning is their activities. In the past,
children
's activities were active, like playing football in the street or other active sports.
However
, these days,
children
like to do more passive activities, like playing online games with their peers, or chatting with their friends. I lived in a village for 12 years, and I remember vividly that I used to play outside with my friends every day. In conclusion, I believe that the lifestyle and eating habits of modern-day
children
have a lot of negative sides that could affect both their physical and mental health.
Submitted by amir1375.6 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument and presents a clear thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the task, arguing convincingly that modern children’s lifestyles and eating habits are detrimental to their health.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples from your personal experience, which adds credibility to your arguments.
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