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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?

#people #work #time #employers #life
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In recent years, many people have found themselves working longer
hours
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 and experiencing higher levels of
stress
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 than before.
This
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 issue can be attributed to various factors that have emerged in modern society. I believe exploring the causes of
this
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 problem can assist in finding suitable solutions to resolve it. The rise in living costs could partly account for the increase in working
hours
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 and
stress
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. As prices for housing, food, and basic necessities continue to rise, individuals are compelled to
work
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 longer
hours
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 to maintain their standard of living or even to make ends meet.
For instance
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, many workers now take on multiple jobs or excessive overtime to cope with these financial pressures. To address
this
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, employers can introduce flexible working schedules, allowing
employees
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 to choose their working
hours
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 within certain limits.
This
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 would not only help reduce financial strain but
also
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 enable a better
work
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-life balance,
thus
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 reducing
stress
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.
Additionally
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, the culture of 'constant connectivity' could
also
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 explain why
employees
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 feel more stressed. Technological advancements have blurred the boundaries between
work
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 and personal life, leading to a situation where
employees
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 are expected to be available at all times.
This
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 constant availability increases pressure and reduces the time workers have to relax and unwind. Employers can remedy
this
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 by promoting a healthier
work
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 environment that encourages regular breaks, physical activities, and mental health resources. By doing so, they can help
employees
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 disconnect from
work
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 during their free time, which would alleviate
stress
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.
To conclude
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, even though rising living costs and constant connectivity contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increased
stress
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 and longer working
hours
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, employers can take steps to ease the situation. In my opinion, introducing flexible working schedules and supporting a healthier
work
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 environment are steps in the right direction, as they can significantly improve
employees
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' quality of life.
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, such as data or statistics on how many people are working overtime due to rising living costs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While the structure is generally logical, adding some linking phrases can improve flow and coherence.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task by clearly identifying reasons and offering solutions.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets up the issue well, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, bringing the discussion full circle.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • comfortable lifestyle
  • make ends meet
  • culture of 'presenteeism'
  • job insecurity
  • technological advancements
  • constant connectivity
  • globalization
  • irregular work hours
  • flexible working schedules
  • work-life balance
  • employee training and development
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • healthier work environment
  • mental health resources
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