In some parts of the world, it is increasingly popular to research the history of one’s own family. Why do people want to do this? Is it a positive or negative development?
In several parts of the world, it is more and more popular to study the history of one's own family because of various major reasons which shall be explained in more detail in
this
essay. personally, I think it is an advantageous development .
To begin
, in some parts of the world, especially, countries in Asia, the number of population who have investigated the history of their own family increasing because the development of the economy leads to honours change manners. when becoming wealthy, people tend to want to know more about their origin. Moreover
, it can give them a sense of pride when they stand in front of their ancestor's altar. For example
, in my country, successful individuals often pay a mount to research their source and build an ancestral temple in the place where their ancestors populated when they were still alive to commemorate and let their relatives visit.
On the other hand
, the positive to studying the source of one's own family is the growth of closeness among relatives; it plays a crucial role in individuals's mental value. It is clear that
close relationships can help residents to cooperate and motivate mutually. For instance
, If a member in a relative group has difficulties, all members will help that person through both money and mental. The wealthy will give a hand with money, and others will support by motivational words or just simple ways such
as listening and a warm hug can also
convey power to help them to pass challenges.
In summary, in some parts of the world, researching the origin of one's own family is gradually popular because of the development of the economy. This
is a positive enhancement because a close relationship can help us to deal with challenges in our lives easily.Submitted by writingeilts on
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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt but can be more comprehensive in addressing the reasons people might research their family history. This could include more varied motivations such as curiosity, cultural values, or medical reasons.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally effective, but some sentences can be refined for better clarity. For example, 'it plays a crucial role in individuals's mental value' could be clearer as 'it plays a crucial role in individuals' mental well-being.'
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consistency in tense and grammar is important. Phrases like 'the number of population who have investigated' should be corrected to 'the number of people who have investigated.' Additionally, linking words like ‘In addition’ and ‘Furthermore’ can help improve flow.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the discussion effectively.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples, such as the one about building an ancestral temple, are used to support the main points.
complete response
The essay addresses the task adequately and offers a balanced view of the topic by discussing both the motivations and the positive impact.
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