IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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After
Covid-19
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
show examples
 outbreak, the flexibility to
work
Use synonyms
 anywhere is
Correct article usage
a concerned
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concerned
Replace the word
concern
show examples
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
, there are
people
Use synonyms
 who support
theprofessionals
Correct your spelling
the professionals
professionals
,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
 doctors and engineers, to
work
Use synonyms
 in the country where they raised their skill sets, others think that they are able to
work
Use synonyms
 anywhere they wish.
However
Linking Words
, in my opinion, I agree that
people
Use synonyms
 with professional careers should be allowed to
work
Use synonyms
 freely wherever countries they prefer. First of all, I agree that working in
country
Add an article
a country
the country
show examples
 where the
experts
Use synonyms
 were
originately
Correct your spelling
originally
 trained will allow them to get familiar with local
people
Use synonyms
 as each place has different
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 and attitudes. Most importantly, these kinds of ways of living cannot be learned by reading and attending any class. The best way to understand is that they have to indulge themselves in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if the professionals choose to
work
Use synonyms
 in the place where they cultivated their competencies, they tend to understand customer’s needs and pains more
profound
Change the word
profoundly
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, working in the same place as learning can limit their perspectives to tackle issues that may happen,
as a result
Linking Words
, the
experts
Use synonyms
prone
Add a missing verb
are prone
show examples
 to
consults
Wrong verb form
consult
show examples
 other
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 in other countries. On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
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, pursuing
Use synonyms
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
 in other places
besides
Linking Words
 where
initially
Linking Words
 studied
since
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 young is a good option as every
career
Use synonyms
 always has key skills which each country
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to learn
similarly
Linking Words
. So
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if the
experts
Use synonyms
 cultivate
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 core skills strongly, they must be able to apply their knowledge
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anywhere they would like to set up their
career
Use synonyms
. On top of that, they will be equipped with
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 range of knowledge
gaining
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
 from different
work
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 locations.
Nevertheless
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professionals should keep in mind that they have to be open-minded and never stop learning to blend in with new
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
people
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. After examining both sides, I do support the freedom to choose where to
work
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 around the world as their core skills and competencies of
career
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 not much
differ
Replace the word
different
show examples
 from each
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
 and
together with
Linking Words
 being willing to learn regardless of conditions any
experts
Use synonyms
 can fit
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 any
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider making your transitions between ideas clearer. Using transition words and phrases can help guide the reader through your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your paragraphs more effectively. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point and should logically flow from one to the next.
task achievement
Ensure that you provide specific examples to support your points. Specific examples help to illustrate your ideas and make your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your arguments to ensure that your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Provide detailed explanations where necessary.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion by presenting both sides of the argument and stating your position clearly.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes your points well and reinforces your stance on the issue.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt and provided a balanced discussion of both views before presenting your opinion.
task achievement
You have a good foundational understanding of the topic and have presented some relevant ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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