In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advatanges of having an ageing population outweigh the disavantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that nowadays the vast majority of
people
Use synonyms
are living longer than before.
while
Linking Words
it is a commonly held belief that the proportion of elderly
people
Use synonyms
is increasing and it could create potential issues for governments, there is
also
Linking Words
an argument that it is important to recognize the benefits that old
individuals
Use synonyms
bring to society.
This
Linking Words
essay will analyse
this
Linking Words
topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, having old
individuals
Use synonyms
in our lives is essential.
In other words
Linking Words
, we can learn from their past and avoid any possible challenges, on the grounds that many young
people
Use synonyms
lack life experience.
In addition
Linking Words
, youth can benefit from them by listening to their stories and gaining some wisdom from those who have lived through different eras.
For example
Linking Words
, if someone is struggling in life, they may seek advice from an elderly person to overcome their difficulties.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, old
people
Use synonyms
's needs are expensive. It is
also
Linking Words
possible to say that, they often require healthcare services and specialized facilities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, most regions do not have
such
Linking Words
an immense amount of money to build or enhance specific sectors for them.
For instance
Linking Words
, African countries
such
Linking Words
as Somalia, already have great debts, so they can not allocate any part of their budgets to take care of elderly
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
question. On balance,
however
Linking Words
, I tend strongly to believe that the benefits of having older
individuals
Use synonyms
far exceed the drawbacks. Older
individuals
Use synonyms
bring valuable knowledge and experience to society, which can help young
people
Use synonyms
navigate life's challenges.
Submitted by deemaalkhathlan1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay provides a clear position and covers both sides of the argument, which is good. However, try to elaborate more on the points made and provide additional relevant examples to strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is generally coherent with a good use of linking words and phrases. However, the introduction could be improved by rephrasing for smoothness, and transitions between ideas could be smoother.
task response
You have a strong conclusion that clearly states your opinion and summarizes the main points of the essay. This helps to reinforce your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical, and the main points are well-supported in each paragraph. This helps to maintain clarity throughout the essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: