In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advatanges of having an ageing population outweigh the disavantages?
There is no denying the fact that nowadays the vast majority of
people
are living longer than before. while
it is a commonly held belief that the proportion of elderly people
is increasing and it could create potential issues for governments, there is also
an argument that it is important to recognize the benefits that old individuals
bring to society. This
essay will analyse this
topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
On one
hand, having old Correct article usage
the one
individuals
in our lives is essential. In other words
, we can learn from their past and avoid any possible challenges, on the grounds that many young people
lack life experience. In addition
, youth can benefit from them by listening to their stories and gaining some wisdom from those who have lived through different eras. For example
, if someone is struggling in life, they may seek advice from an elderly person to overcome their difficulties.
On the other hand
, old people
's needs are expensive. It is also
possible to say that, they often require healthcare services and specialized facilities. Moreover
, most regions do not have such
an immense amount of money to build or enhance specific sectors for them. For instance
, African countries such
as Somalia, already have great debts, so they can not allocate any part of their budgets to take care of elderly people
.
In conclusion, there are no easy answers to this
question. On balance, however
, I tend strongly to believe that the benefits of having older individuals
far exceed the drawbacks. Older individuals
bring valuable knowledge and experience to society, which can help young people
navigate life's challenges.Submitted by deemaalkhathlan1 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
The essay provides a clear position and covers both sides of the argument, which is good. However, try to elaborate more on the points made and provide additional relevant examples to strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is generally coherent with a good use of linking words and phrases. However, the introduction could be improved by rephrasing for smoothness, and transitions between ideas could be smoother.
task response
You have a strong conclusion that clearly states your opinion and summarizes the main points of the essay. This helps to reinforce your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical, and the main points are well-supported in each paragraph. This helps to maintain clarity throughout the essay.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...