IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Nowadays, it can be seen that despite great progress in agriculture, lots of
people
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 are still starving. In my opinion,
this
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 is because of an unequal distribution of goods around the globe which leads to an excess of
products
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 in rich
regions
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 and a lack of them in poor ones.
Thus
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, in order to cope with
this
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 issue, governments should control
this
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 process and subsidise
people
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 who are ready to send their
products
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 to impoverished
regions
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. It is undeniable that the agriculture sector has developed over the years by replacing individuals with machines and increasing productivity.
However
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, regardless many
people
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 around the globe still go hungry. Having analysed the situation, it can be observed that in developed countries the shelves in grocery stores are bending from the surplus of items
while
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 in developing
regions
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 they are empty.
This
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 is because the distribution between these areas is unequal. The unscrupulous middlemen buy
products
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 from farmers for nothing and
then
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 transport them to urban areas where they can sell them several times more expensive, ignoring the fact that some
people
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 will be starving because of their choice. In order to tackle with problem, the government should implement a law which subsidises producers and middlemen who spread their goods in poor
regions
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.
Thus
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, more commodities will be redistributed to remote areas and individuals
finally
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 receive access to the needed
products
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.
As a result
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, a myriad of
people
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 stop starving and can improve their living standards. In conclusion, I tend to believe that in today’s world, it is possible to eliminate worldwide hunger, by encouraging
people
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 to send their
products
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 to
people
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 in need rather than to rich
regions
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.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point. At times, the ideas feel a bit mixed.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention a real country facing hunger issues and how proposed solutions can work there.
task achievement
You have a clear introduction that states your opinion on the topic. This sets a good foundation for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion nicely sums up your argument and reinforces your main ideas about addressing hunger.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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