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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Some people argue that the media should not expose superstars' personal
lives
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.
This
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 essay agrees that the private
lives
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 of celebrities should not be openly shared by the press, because of their rights to privacy and to have their personal
lives
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 separated from work. Public figures are
also
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 human and
thus
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 have the
right
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 to privacy.
However
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, the media constantly violated
this
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right
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 by putting celebrities' personal
lives
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 in the limelight for the consumption of the masses. The press likes to follow and capture celebrities in their daily life or important events and share them with the public.
For instance
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, singer Dua Lipa had her wedding day documented and exposed by the paparazzi despite having explicitly stated that the singer didn't want it to be shared with the public by the news.
In addition
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 to that, public figures have both professional
lives
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 and personal
lives
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, and the latter should not be exposed freely by the news.
That is
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 to say, famous people may not do the conventional 9 to 5 jobs,
nevertheless
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, what they do is still in their professional capacity. Public figures' working
lives
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 are different to their personal ones, and yet the press can't distinguish them.
For example
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, female actresses, like Anne Hathaway and Margot Robbie have complained that in movie interviews, they are likely to be asked about their dating history, which is not at all related to the movie they are promoting. In conclusion, in regard to the human
right
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 to privacy and the
right
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 to work-life balance, famous people deserve not to have their personal
lives
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 made for public consumption by the media.

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task achievement
The essay provides a clear position on the topic, which is well-maintained throughout the essay. However, you can strengthen your arguments by providing more diverse examples and expanding on how the invasion of privacy affects celebrities personally and professionally.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next and that all points are fully elaborated.
task achievement
You provided a clear thesis statement in the introduction, outlining your stance effectively.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is concise and reinforces your position well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Media scrutiny
  • Public persona
  • Personal autonomy
  • Sensationalism
  • Paparazzi
  • Tabloid journalism
  • Right to privacy
  • Mental well-being
  • Public interest
  • Ethical journalism
  • Celebrity culture
  • Gossip columns
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