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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

#technology #people #viewpoints
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In modern life, technology has transformed the way that we make and keep
relationships
. For some, these changes have been positive but others believe that they have made us more separate than before. I think that both of these views are valid but that there are more positive consequences.
Due to
 technology, we are now able to communicate instantly with
people
 all over the world.
This
 communication is possible in many different ways
for example
, through phone calls, video calls, email messages and share photos. We can
also
 meet new
people
 on dating sites and chatrooms. These changes are mostly positive for many
people
. They argue that they allow us to stay in touch with
people
 all over the world and that our location is not as important for our
relationships
 as in the past. The fact that we can
also
 share information quickly and easily means that we are able to know a lot more about the
people
 that we communicate with.
However
, there are
also
 some disadvantages.
For example
, some
people
 spend much less time meeting
people
 in real life than they did before.
As a result
,
people
 are said that the
relationships
 that we make are not as strong
due to
 the fact that we can create a false, online person rather than get to know someone on a more personal level. It is certainly true that young
people
 today tend to spend their time glued to their screens rather than meeting
people
 outside. In conclusion,
it is clear that
 modern communication is largely different than it used to be. I would argue that these impacts are generally positive but that we still need to ensure that we spend time nurturing
relationships
 with
people
 that we know in person.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a logical structure, with an introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion. To enhance cohesion, ensure that your ideas flow more seamlessly from one paragraph to the next by using a wider variety of linking words and cohesive devices.
task achievement
Your response fulfills the task by discussing both viewpoints and providing an opinion. However, while your ideas are relevant, they could be more fully extended with a greater range of specific examples to back up your points. Also, aim for a balance between the two views before stating your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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