More people are shopping online today than ever before. Why do people choose to shop this way? Are there any disadvantages to shopping online?

Technological advancement has altered the
way
people shop nowadays in a
way
that they are increasingly engaging in online shopping activities.
This
essay will discuss how time and cost-efficiency are the primary factors why people shop through online marketplaces, and it will name some potential downsides of
this
shopping style,
such
as delay in delivery and risk of fraud. Online shopping nowadays has become a habitual routine for most pupils across the globe they can shop anytime and anywhere, even in their workplaces during lunchtime or in parallel with finishing their other tasks at home.
This
activity offers them flexibility in opting for what to purchase at their fingertips without spending time and money to transport to shops or markets. Many citizens in Indonesia,
for example
, rely on e-commerce companies to purchase as many
products
as they wish, and the
products
will immediately get delivered to their front doors in 2-7 working days.
Nonetheless
, online shopping is not entirely beneficial and safe. There is a high risk of scams even in famous digital marketplaces, as the information and the visualisation of the
products
could be manipulated by irresponsible sellers so that the items do not meet the customers’ expectations.
For instance
, my sister bought trousers from a digital shopping site in which the seller described the items as made of premium-quality material, and the seller gave a fairly high price. The
products
were delivered a few days later, and the quality was disappointing. All in all, shopping through online marketplaces is now a continuous trend as it provides people with an easier
way
to get the items they desire in a much more efficient
way
.
However
, the activity is not all secure if customers are not careful enough, they could possibly get scammed by online sellers.
Submitted by 2024successielts on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion but could be further enhanced by a stronger thesis statement and summary. To improve, try to succinctly encapsulate your arguments in the opening and closing paragraphs.
logical structure
You provide a structured and organized essay; however, there are opportunities for enhancing paragraph transitions and sentence linkages. Consider varying your connectives and ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly to the next.
supported main points
While you support your main points adequately, strive for deeper analysis and a more extensive range of supporting details. This could involve providing statistics, citing authoritative sources, or including personal anecdotes that reinforce your arguments.
complete response
You address the task with a relevant response, yet there is room for a more comprehensive exploration of the topic. For a higher score, ensure that each aspect of the prompt is thoroughly discussed and that your opinion is explicit throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay presents ideas clearly and comprehensively, but could be improved by refining your argumentation and ensuring a more consistent analytical depth across all points addressed.
relevant specific examples
You've included relevant examples which strengthen your essay. To further enhance your score, ensure that examples are specific, detailed, and directly linked to the points being made, illustrating the argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: