Some people think it is more important for a government to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some believe that investing money in promoting a healthy lifestyle to deter
people
from getting infected with some illnesses is more essential than just spending it on ways to cure people
who are sick. I completely agree with the given statement, since it will be a decline in the number of ill people
in the country and provide more long-term solutions to the problem.
Firstly
, one of the primary reasons for supporting a public policy that is
more focused on promoting a healthy lifestyle is the fact that the way of living is a
first and foremost factor of humans' medical conditions. Correct article usage
the
People
's well-being is directly influenced by their daily habits and routines. Therefore
, increasing people
's awareness and literacy related to the importance of appropriate
lifestyle will undoubtedly decrease the number of Correct article usage
an appropriate
people
who suffer from serious illnesses. For example
, allocating some funds to holding special training and common events that educate people
about the basic steps which lead to a healthy life would be an effective initiative to reduce possible sick people
.
Secondly
, this
approach offers a more valid and effective solution in the long term rather than just concentrating on the ways to deal with the negative outcomes of the issue. Delving deep into and determining the core of the problem and devising the common methods to conquer the illness that apply to everyone is almost the most efficient way of giving a solution to the given problem. For instance
, by working out and having a healthy diet which is recommended by medical experts people
's immune systems will be stronger to resist any infection and viruses.
To conclude
, spending money on supporting and promoting healthy habits would result in more effective outcomes compared to focusing on the treatment of the illness.Submitted by Dinare Abdullayeva on
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task achievement
While the essay clearly presents arguments in favor of promoting a healthy lifestyle over treating illnesses, it could benefit from including counter-arguments and addressing them to show a more balanced view. This would demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that aligns with the main argument. This will enhance the logical flow and help in maintaining a clear structure throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion that effectively restates the main points and reinforces the argument.
task achievement
The main ideas are well-articulated and relevant, providing a strong case for promoting healthy lifestyles.
task achievement
Examples provided, such as training sessions and healthy diets, are specific and relevant, helping to substantiate the arguments presented.
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