IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think computer and internet are important in children’s study. But others think students can learn effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Nowadays people prefer to teach their kids
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
advanced technology devices like computers and laptops
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 prefer
lets
Change the verb form
to let
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
 study in regular
education
Use synonyms
 institutions which
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are more effective In my opinion. I think schools are the best choice for
children
Use synonyms
 to get their
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
Internet and advanced devices are more essential nowadays it
easy
Add a missing verb
is easy
show examples
 to find any data or information
instead
Linking Words
 of
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
Change the article
a
show examples
long time in
library
Correct article usage
a library
show examples
search
Wrong verb form
searching
show examples
 for that information ,
However
Linking Words
 internet is
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 ocean of
many
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
informations
Correct your spelling
information
children
Use synonyms
 may get lost or drawn without any supervision or professional educator
Body paragraph 2
It may not or impossible to get
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 with
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 only .
Body paragraph 3
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
 traditional
education
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 still the best
options
Fix the agreement mistake
option
show examples
.
Childrens
Correct your spelling
Children
show examples
 get
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
data through professional teachers and
education
Use synonyms
 systems .
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 kids improve their social skills by learning with their peers ,
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
 games and
socialize
Wrong verb form
socialising
show examples
 which help kids in future to develop their abilities to make decisions about themselves in life and
descoiver
Correct your spelling
discover
 what they
what
Correct your spelling
want
show examples
 in future .
Conclusion
In conclusion,
send
Wrong verb form
sending
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 to
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 to get their
education
Use synonyms
 by
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
also
Linking Words
 to
improved
Change the form of the verb
improve
show examples
 their social skills and make friends with their peers is much better than
let's
Wrong verb form
letting
show examples
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
 sit in front of computers for long hours without any supervision .

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introduction
Your introduction should be clearer and more defined. It needs to better outline the two perspectives you're going to discuss.
structure
Your paragraphs need more clarity and structure. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or argument.
development
You need to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This helps in making your essay more convincing.
conclusion
Ensure your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively and clearly restates your opinion.
language use
Work on improving your grammar and punctuation. There are many minor errors that, when accumulated, affect readability.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task requirements.
clarity
Your opinion is clear and consistently stated throughout the essay.
structure
The basic structure of introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion is present.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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