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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices, to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
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As society advances,
people
 are having more
choices
 than ever before. Some believe that the growing number of options could enrich
people
’s lives, as
people
 are more likely to do what they want.
In contrast
, others believe that too many
choices
 could harm themselves. From my perspective, the ladder is more reasonable. On one hand, hesitation results from too many
choices
is
Correct word choice
and is
show examples
 a waste of time. When
choices
 appear in front of
people
, they will usually hesitate which one to choose even in small issues that are normally easy to decide. Times are valuable for
people
 nowadays, but their time consumption on
decision
-making rather than doing something practical would not be conducive to themselves,
instead
, it might even result in missing the right moment to purchase an opportunity.
Furthermore
, facing too many
choices
 may
also
 lead
people
 to overthink or complicate decisions, making the
choices
 seem to be more complex than they really are, and even
confuse
Wrong verb form
confusing
show examples
people
 to make the wrong
decision
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the end.
On the other hand
, too many options could have detrimental effects on
people
 mentally as well.
While
decision
-making,
people
 often want to make the right
decision
 so as to do things perfectly. In consequence, when too many
choices
 appear, they will push themselves to find the most suitable option which is usually hard to
figures
Wrong verb form
figure
show examples
 out.
Therefore
,
people
 may be anxious about what to choose from or worry about the prospect after making a
decision
.
Moreover
, the possibility of
people
 ending up feeling regret increases, they might imagine will something become different if they make another
decision
, which will make them significantly stressed. In conclusion, facing too many
choices
 will bring disadvantages to
people
 including worthless time consumption and adverse mental effects.
Submitted by 18310971390 on

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relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific examples to illustrate your points. This would strengthen your argument and engagement with the task.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on varying sentence structure and using more complex grammar to improve clarity and coherence.
logical structure
Clear logical structure with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported and consistently developed throughout the essay.
complete response
The essay provides a balanced discussion, mentioning both sides of the argument before taking a stance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
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