Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that
competition
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is beneficial in different aspects of life, like work, school, and daily activities. Others argue that collaboration is more important and should be encouraged
instead
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of
competition
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.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives and provide an opinion. On the one hand,
competition
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can be an effective motivator. In school,
for example
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, students often strive to achieve better grades when they compete with their peers.
Similarly
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, in the workplace, employees may work harder to receive promotions or bonuses, which can lead to increased productivity.
Additionally
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,
competition
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can help individuals develop important skills
such
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as resilience and problem-solving.
On the other hand
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, aid promotes teamwork and social harmony. In many workplaces, employees must collaborate to complete tasks efficiently.
For example
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,if individuals focus too much on
competition
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, they may struggle to work together effectively.
According to
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researchers in Azerbaijan in 2010.
Furthermore
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, in education, cooperative learning can help students understand concepts better through group discussions and shared ideas. In daily life, collaboration fosters better relationships and reduces unnecessary conflicts. Whilst
competition
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has its advantages, cooperation is more beneficial in the long run. A balance between the two is ideal, but excessive
event
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events
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can create stress and negativity.
Therefore
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, people should focus on working together rather than constantly competing against others. In conclusion, both
competition
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and collaboration have their own benefits, but cooperation plays a more essential role in achieving long-term success and social well-being.

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task achievement
Although the introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives, consider rephrasing the thesis statement to make your opinion more explicit from the beginning.
task achievement
Ensure that your supporting ideas are more developed and interconnected. For instance, providing specific examples or scenarios can strengthen your arguments for both competition and cooperation.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay to fix punctuation inconsistencies, such as missing spaces after commas and periods. A well-edited essay reflects positively on your writing skills.
coherence and cohesion
While paragraphing is mostly clear, consider adding a brief summary or transitional statement between the comparisons for a smoother flow.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both competition and cooperation, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of topic sentences helps guide the reader through your arguments effectively, contributing to a logical structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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